


Captain Underpants and the Catastrophic Collision with Mr. Krupp.

by AMINACAN



Category: Captain Underpants - Fandom, Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey
Genre: Action, Comedy, Existential Crisis, Freindship, Gen, Humor, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-23 20:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20346628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMINACAN/pseuds/AMINACAN
Summary: Mr. Krupp is going to the extreme to prevent any and all pranks devised by the troublesome George and Harold. Unfortunately, through his efforts, he and the Captain Underpants learn of their co-existence with each other. Will Captain Underpants be able to defeat what might be his most formidable foe yet? Will Mr. Krupp completely lose his mind over this? Read and find out!





	1. Stuff Happens

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this a reposting of a fanfiction I originally posted on another website. I wrote it before the movie came out so it mostly follows the cannon of the original book series. I think I'm going to separate my chapters out more so there isn't such a big divide between word counts. The story is still the same length as it was when I originally posted it.

**Captain Underpants and the Catastrophic Collision with Mr. Krupp**

**Chapter 1: Stuff Happens**

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchingson. The kid on the left with the tie and flat-top is George. The one on the right with the T-shirt and bad haircut is Harold. Remember that now.

These boys can't help but play pranks especially when the opportunity is practically given to them that's not the only part of the story, but we're getting to that. Right now, let's start off with when they both were about to change around a sign near the cafeteria. That was until they got rudely interrupted.

"A-HA got you bubs! As I suspected you two just couldn't resist," Mr. Krupp pointed at them giving off a malicious toothy smile.

"No way, we didn't even get to finish, "Harold stated rather disappointed.

George hastily covered his friends’ mouth, "what he means is, we were... Just fixing it," George tilted the E toward the end of the word, "Yes there we go! You know you teachers should really think about putting the letters straighter if you're expecting us to read correctly."

That last comment really set off Krupp the wrong way his eye began twitching, and so did his left foot until finally he let out a big breath. "Fine, you haven't done any damage yet so I'll let you off with a warning this time, but touch this board again and I'll have fun messing with your letters on your permanent report cards!" Just like that, he stormed off into his office.

"That was weird," Harold shuddered.

George nodded, "Yeah usually he's in his office during the lunch break what gives? Well, we can always try again tomorrow." The two-headed into the lunchroom.

By the way, the big, mean, fat, bald principle with the tie and the cheesy toupee is Mr. Krupp. And the big, cheerful, fat, bald superhero wearing only his underwear and a red shower curtain who comes much later in this story is Captain Underpants. We thought it would probably be important so remember that too.

After school was over George and Harold headed to the treehouse in their backyard to work on their homework, but mostly to make a new Captain Underpants story to sell at school."He's really starting to crack down hard on us lately," said Harold doodling a front cover.

"Yeah," replied George while he folded his math worksheet into a paper airplane," the other kids should be thankful that we're taking the heat for them."

"I was thinking of adding him as the villain of this issue..."

"Are you crazy remember what happens the first time and that other time when we created Wedgie Women!"

"Yes I know I was just saying it was an idea, but I guess you are the writer for a reason."

"Well, I guess we can make one based off Mr. McMeanie ... To cheesy how about...the Krabby, Krapper Krupper?" George scratched his chin. "Ugh, I just feel so out of our usual groove today!" he said tapping his fist against his head. "I feel like I have writer's block."

"Well, we could still copy and sell Captain Underpants origins. We only released that issue to the loon himself to help him defeat Wedgie Woman."

"Good call, I almost forgot what happened last time we base our comic books after someone we knew. Not that it turns out that much better in reverse. Besides, we can't just draw him as a giant in his underpants like Melvin."

"Yeah, who wants to see a comic of something they've already seen in real life?"

The two cried laughing on the floor of their treehouse reflecting on the semi-terrifying yet hilarious stuff they had seen recently. The next day they brought the comic book issue ready to get it copied. George and Harold noticed Mr. Krupp was extra wrinkly and pale today, especially under his eyes. They weren't the only ones either. Some of the teachers were getting concerned about how this might affect his ability to lead the school.

"Mr. Krupp are you doing alright?" the secretary asked.

"Yes uh- I'm fine, I'm fine," he said rather sluggishly, “just get me a cup of coffee woman." He grumbled and marched to his office.

Miss Anthrope came back with a cup of Joe only to find the principle dead asleep on his desk.

"Sir?" she said as she placed the coffee on the desk, and began lightly shaking him on the shoulder. He reacted by instantaneously reaching out his hand out to grasp the corner of her dress.

"AHA," his head bobbled back and forth, "I finally got you. You're going to be suspended forever and ever until the day y-huh, wah?" He blinked twice and realized where his hand was. "Oh, I uh," he coughed. "What did you want from me again?"

"I never took you as a man to act like this in front of your fellow staff maybe you should think about taking time off."

"Hey, lady my wage is already low as it is. I'm just tired because I've been constantly monitoring footage. Don't worry by the end of this," he took a breath to yawn, "It'll all be worth it."

"Footage, what footage?"

Mr. Krupp gave out his signature evil laughs, "Mwahaha, why these security cameras I've placed all over the school. Genius isn't it?"

"How could this bottom-tier school have the budget for that?"

"It doesn't so we'll probably have to make an arbitrary fundraiser or something like that, but once I catch Harold and George think on how much money we'll save if we don't have to clean up after them anymore. I'll be watching their every move so that I'll always be able to catch them on the spot. They'll either be kicked out due to all the proof of vandalism I know they've committed, or they'll give up after I've prevented all their pranks. Mwaha haha haha!"

"Might this be taking it a bit too far? As irksome as those boys are. They are only two kids."

"Yes, they are only two kids. Only two kids who have traumatized my nephew, ruined practically every school event, painted the bathroom stalls red with ketchup packets, a million other things that make my life feel ten times worse, and let's not even start with letters on the whiteboard. They need to GO!"

"Well good luck with that," the secretary left his office a bit concerned, "are you guys sure he's not going crazy?"

"Oh he's crazy," replied Mr. Meaner "Crazy, but RIGHT!"

"Do any of you want a cookie?" said a hypnotized Mrs. Tribble walking through the hallway.

"Yes ma'am," Mr. Meaner grabbed the entire plate and left leaving the secretary to listen to Krupp's ramblings next door alone.

Not too long after George and Harold busted in, "Can we copy something for homework purposes?" asked George.

"Shh, do you have to do that now? It's really not a good time."

Too late Harold already put the comic into the machine, and copies started flying out onto the floor. "Pleasure doing business with you," they quickly picked up the papers and raced out the door.

"But-but," she stood there dumbfounded then sat back down, "I sure hope he doesn't have any cameras in here."

Well, he did. Fortunately for her however he hadn't gotten around to it there are only so many places his eyes could be fixated at once. The way he was acting one could almost mistake him for a zombie nerd living for nothing except taking down those who oppose them. His eyes were nearly bloodshot from looking nonstop at screens for the past two hours. "Nope, they're not in the cafeteria, not in class either those bratz must've left early. Hold up, what's that moving in the office next door?" He crouched on his desk and held the screen right up to his face. "Oh, it's only her ehehe-ehh...," he pushed the screen back a sipped his coffee. "They gotta be around A-Ha! there's those two little devils out in the playground, and there, and they're selling those STUPID comic books again! Not this time." High on caffeine Principle Krupp rushed out of his office and ran straight for the playground where the fourth graders were having recess.

"Ha, I predicted you bubs would come here to cause trouble now hand me that comic it's against the rules to sell anything on school property without permission. Not to mention our policy on creative thinking plus these are terrible. It boggles my mind how and why children would be interested in stuff like this. Now hand it over!" he said grabbing the comic.

"No," they said resisting his pull on it, "we didn't sell it to anyone yet so..."

"I warned you, didn't I?" he pulled harder until Harold and George let go from the force. "Ack!" Mr. Krupp said shaking his hand "Look what you made me do." He yelled and then stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Is Mr. Krupp trying to suck his thumb?" said George giving a loud whisper to Harold.

"Of course not, you boys gave me a paper cut." He displayed a line mark on his index finger to their faces.

"Gave you?" they argued.

"I think I'll let your teachers discipline you two this time since you both decided to ditch your classes."

"No way, we didn't skip class today our teacher let us all out early." It seemed no matter what they said their reasoning wasn't getting through to their sleep-deprived principal.

"Let's see what your parents and teachers once I call them. Once I get to the phone in my office you two bubs will be burnt toast!" Just like that, the principal headed back to the school building.

"I don't understand how did he manage to get one step ahead of us AGAIN?"

"There's something fishy going on and it's not just the cafeteria food we got to figure out what it is before we start pulling off some of our major league pranks."

Mr. Krupp was overjoyed with how successful his plan had been going and got out the traditional school phone and began dialing numbers. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Beard this is Principal Krupp. I called to let you know that your son George is not only a complete failure, but he clearly has a discipline problem that is causing him to become a nuisance at this school. I have evidence to perhaps change how you-" the line cut out. "Unbelievable, did they hang up on me? Let's try this again." He tried contacting Harold's mom, but much to Mr. Krupp's annoyance only a pre-recorded message played. He also gave an attempt to reach out to all the teachers, and the only one who cared to answer was their English teacher Mrs. Tribble who let them out in the first place. "I should really get around to firing...her," he thought to himself struggling to keep his eyes open. "I think I need another dose of," he made a desperate attempt to reach for the coffee, but he was already snoring before he even came close.

Meanwhile, in the secretary's office, Miss Edith Anthrope saw him plop face down on his desk fast asleep. She sighed, "Not again, how am I supposed to get the word on next week’s schedule if he keeps on passing out during work?" Miss Anthrope fought with herself for a while until the pressure of getting it done on time finally gave her the nerve to confront him. She crept over to his door and gently knocked, "Mr. Krupp are you in there and can you wake up, please? I need you to do something for me." No response. So, she slightly creaked opened the door just enough to put her arm and head through "Mr. Krupp, I need your help. Please get up." Nothing still, she was growing impatient

"Benjamin! Get off your butt right now, and wake up," she yelled snapping her fingers.

!SNAP!

This was a mistake. His head lifted up, but instead of a scowl, a cheerful smile crept up his face. "Did someone say they needed my help?" he proclaimed with a grandiose voice kneeling on top of his desk with a heroic pose.

"Umm never mind," she did not expect this response. This was so off-putting to her that she quickly withdrew from the room and went back to her desk pretending that never happened. "I hate it when he changes his mood like that. “Miss Anthrope said to swore though that she could hear singing coming from there even a faint "Tra-la-la," in the background.

From inside Captain Underpants was preparing his attire "Don't need that," he ripped his tie and shirt off. "Definitely Don't need that," he ripped off his pants. "Woops, that was a close one," he said realizing that his belt almost snagged his underwear off with it. "Now let's see where is my, there it is always when I need it," he pulled off the confidently placed red curtain and tied it to form his signature waist-banded warrior was now ready for action" Now I must find who requested my help." He Walked near the exit of the office and plopped his face onto the window where the secretary was sitting. "Was it you Miss?" She drifted her eyes away from him and put her hand upon her face. “Well if it wasn't her who was it," he rummaged through random desk drawers. "Hello,...nope not in there.Nope, nope." He scratched his bald noggin in confusion." Where did it come from?"

He opened another one and this time it was Mr. Krupp's secret stash. "What's this? " he took out the first issue on top of the stack of Captain Underpants comics. "Aww yes, I remember this Captain Underpants origin story when I left Underpantyland and found my destiny to save this planet. With that realization, I was finally able to find my true potential inside myself in order to break through my one weakness, starch. Ahh Good times." he browsed through it and got the last page. "Copyright of George and Harold at Tree House Inc. Ahh, it's so nice of those boys to catalog all my adventures for me. Speaking of which where are those two? they're usually here to tell me where the trouble is. I guess even sidekicks need a day off, or maybe their being held hostage. There’s only one way to find out. Tra-la-Laa," he sang while smashing himself through the window.

All the streets were eerily peaceful and Captain Underpants was all too aware of the unassuming atmosphere. He passed by the We sell Anything except Fabric softener store. Nothing. He flew by the county prison. Nothing out of the usual. He flew by Frank's Bank. No suspicious criminal activities. He checked by the streets again there wasn't even anyone loitering just a bunch of people giving him weird looks. Not even one talking toilet in sight. "They must've all been brainwashed by someone no way this town is that peaceful it must be the work of a dastardly, that must be it!" Captain Underpants then proceeded to walk over by the police station yelling, "Dr. Diaper, Wedgie Woman, are you out there somewhere?... Professor Poopypants did you hit yourself with that shrink ray of yours? Professor Poopypants?!"

They were all on their 15-minute break casually relaxing on and munching on donuts like any typical cop would do on a day like this. That all came to an abrupt end when one officer did a spit take onto the Chief's head "Look, there he is. It's that underwear guy. What's he doing out?"

"What in the- Captain Underpants!"

The hero noticed and waved to them. “Hello, there fellow police officers lovely day out which is why I know there is something wrong. Tell me, have any of the supervillains gone on the loose?"

"There haven’t been any crimes all week."

"But I need to find two missing kids they're about this high and one has a not so good haircut."

"What are they like ten? Check an elementary school or something," the cops continued munching on their doughnuts. "You know we appreciate what you do for us and all."

"Yes, it's tough being a defender of justice and pre-shrunk cottony on a 24-hour basis."

"Right...all we’re saying is would it kill you to wear pants? I mean really, most people get arrested for that kind of violation."

"Pants you say? Absolutely not! Like my father and mother used to say from my home planet, why burden yourself with that which is so unnecessary?" The officers stared blankly at him one dropped his doughnut into his mug in disbelief. "Well carry on then officers, I'll be sure to check there Tra-la-laa!" He jumped high with his arms stretched out forward, but instead of taking off he face planted on the concrete and then hovered slightly above it. "Why do my powers feel so weak?" he started yawning, "and why does it feel like it's time for beddy-bye already?" "I must have overworked myself already fighting crime, and that's why there is no one's out." He slugged overdue to the coffee withdrawal. "No wonder I'm so exhausted, I've must've drained most of my superpowers by now."

Captain Underpants slowly, but surely limped over to the school and came in the way he left through his impression in the window. He starred at Mr. Krupp's clothes littered all over the floor and our hero thought to himself. "Well, those two usually like me to wear these whenever I return from fighting crime. " He lifted them up, "Oh they’re so restraining, but I'll do it for them if it'll bring them back." Captain Underpants dressed up in his undercover outfit and tapped his fingers together like an impatient child which wasn't helped by the cup of brown liquid he just consumed. " Boys...?" No answer. "I feel like I'm forgetting something hmmm...water. They usually tell me to wash myself. Every time I do it though I just blackout. How am I supposed to protect them and the world if I keep on passing out like that?" Captain Underpants grew anxious from waiting after five minutes and threw his uncomfortable clothes off onto the floor again.

He began opening several drawers on the desk something different caught his eye this time. Videotapes a whole pile of them so much that as soon as he opened it they flooded out. "Could this be a clue?" he asked picking one up examining it extremely close his eyeballs. This one had a label,"1:14 playground footage: Captain Underpants comics," he read out loud. "This must be a message sent about a ransom for the hostages," he thought. "Better open it to find out." He banged it upon the desk however it did not give off a holographic projection as he had hoped. "This box must have a secret code to unlock he looked on the back where it said security camera #3. "Camera?" That's when Captain Underpants noticed he was surrounded by at least five different cameras from all angles with a giant TV-like monitor held right up next to one of them that showed the sightings of most of the areas of the school even the bathrooms. "That looks promising now to turn it on," he took an extra pair of underwear in the drawer. Don't ask. Then used it to slingshot the tape onto the screen. By all odds, the screen did not crack, but he got the tape to fall into the player perfectly.

The video was now playing in front of our heroes' eyes. _On the screen, there were two small fourth graders preparing to hand out an issue of Captain Underpants origin story." George and Harold, I've found you two Haha!" he laughed victoriously. "Now just tell me- "his sentenced stopped when he saw an overbearing figure enter the stomp onto the scene_

_"Ha, I predicted you would come here and cause trouble. Now give me the comic it’s against the rules..." Was someone threatening his friends for handing out his life's story?_

"What dastardly fiend could this be?" he thought as the audio kept playing.

"_No, we didn't sell anything yet so," said George. "Gimme that," The man pulled on the book from the children their strength was no match for him_. This had the waist banded warrior in suspense "C' mon guys you have the power fight back like this. Somewhat ignorant to the fact he was talking to a screen he demonstrated some heroic punches and kicks until he fell flat on his back from tripping over the clothes, he left lying on the floor. "Oof, for the love of Pre-shrunk Cottony," he said shaking the tie and then looked up on the screen again. _"I warned you," the man yelled._ "Good thing I don't usually have to wear a tie," Captain Underpants chuckled. "They only seem to sell them in the same shade of brown. It's almost the same shade as...this wig...here.." His words stopped, suddenly something became very off-settling to our protagonist as he looked very intently at the screen. _"Acck, look what you made me do!"_ Amazing, they managed to lay a hit on him. _"Is Mr. Krupp trying to suck his thumb?"_ he heard one of the boys say. "Mr. Krupp I know I've heard that name somewhere. Wait they've said it to me a couple-”. He stopped and starred at his index finger.

He had the exact cut in the same place. "Oh no."

Captain underpants grabbed what he assumed was some sort of a microphone device, “George Harold can you come up here now...Please!"


	2. Mr. Underpants?

"How?" Harold stopped in the middle of the hallway rubbing his hand against his forehead, "how does he keep catching onto us George?"

"Darn, he must've caught us using these metal detectors. So, they aren't using sensors in the walls or ground after all."

"What do we do?"

"Calm down, let's not say anything unless he asks."

"Good plan," Harold disassembled the detectors and placed them in his backpack as they were doing a snickering freckle-faced nerd crossed their path.

"Oooooh, you boys are gonna get in so much trouble."

"Shut up Melvin! Do you think he's the reason the Krupp keeps on catching us?" asked George.

"Not likely," his friend replied. What Harold was saying was true the school famous snitch was good, but not that passed by the office and Miss Anthrope was giving them a 'I really don't want to be here right now and thank you, boys, for making it worse' kind of look.

"What's her problem?" Harold asked. George shrugged and they walked in. The principal was waiting at least that's what they expected what they got was Mr. Krupp with his pants hanging at the end of his legs otherwise he was practically only in his undies. The man didn't have his usual scowl, but the superhero didn't have that goofy smile either. He was frowning not in a sad way his expression on his face reflected terror that the boys had never seen him have.

His whole body was trembling and for some reason, he wouldn't stop glancing at his finger that he tightly clenched with his left hand. George did not Harold know for sure what to make of him."Captain Underpants?" they guessed.

"Thank goodness," he crouched down to hug them, "the talky thing worked in summoning you, boys. I was so worried you got kidnapped I searched the entire city for you two." It appears their assumption was correct only now they had to determine whether or not that was a good thing.  
"I can't believe he used the intercom," whispered Harold.

George replied on the other side of the hero's arms, "I know, me too. We never taught him to do that, did we?"  
When Captain Underpants was done embracing them George brought a lingering question he had on his mind, "Why would you believe that we got kidnapped?"

"As my sidekicks, you guys always seem to be there to tell me where the danger is, and when you didn't show up, I assumed the worst. Fortunately, it turns out you and the city are safe from the naughty activities of regular criminals although I've been digging up some secrets in this school and uncovered a dark mystery."

He pointed to a monitor, and that's when the boys noticed a pile of videos sitting next to it. "So, he's been taping us. The security cameras, of course," George hammered his fist down on his head, "That should've been obvious."

"I'm just wondering what took him so long to come up with that after he blackmailed us that one time."

"In a weird way, I sort of feel like those cameras have always been there."

"Yeah the way teachers breathe down our necks being watched by cameras is almost like an afterthought. Wait a sec, we pointed our detectors like everywhere in the school and we got nothing."

"He probably could only afford those cheap plastic cameras," George pointed out.

"OH, that makes sense." Just then you know who broke out into the conversation.

"You-you guys gotta help me," he chattered still clenching his hand," I don't know who or why, but I think some dastardly villain is BRAINWASHING ME!"

The boys were stunned, "Brainwashing... YOU?"

"I know it sounds too crazy to be real right, but look!" Captain Underpants replayed the scene with their fiasco at the playground," See how horribly they made me treat you two, it seems it only happened when I went undercover so at least my reputation is safe." he stated reassuringly. " I have a number a whole list of the evilest villains who would be able to pull something like this, and I plan to track them down one by one until they give me the cure to this dark side curse. First off there are the lunch ladies from outer-space they've done something like this before, but-but it could also be Poopypants he could have the technology-"

"Actually," Harold coughed to get his attention, " How do I explain this? You can't get rid of him because it's the other way around the person you saw on the video is inside of you."

"So they've implanted an evil parasite meant to look like my twin inside of me. That'll be extra tricky to get out. If I can't find an antidote before it takes over me then I suppose then I'll just have to fight him one on one then. The old-fashioned way."

"You don't mean?" Yes, he did mean. Captain Underpants repeatedly punched himself giving out quips and one-liners in the process. "Is that all the fight you got? Get ready, Wedgie power activates," he pulled his underwear over his head and let go. The thing shot back like a slingshot going 100kmph, "Owwww." He yelped in pain yet repeated other creative painful tortures such levitating himself into walls and ceiling fans for about 15 minutes straight.

"George, I can't keep watching him hurt himself like this we might have to tell him the entire truth," Harold tugged on his friend's shirt, but George was quite amused at the sight and continued laughing, "I'm serious!"

"Relax bro, there's no need to do that I can just get some water, and things will go back to normal like it always it did before."

"Yes, buuut he never found out before," Harold was getting fed up with George's sarcastic attitude "If you know who is going to stick around, I don't think we can keep this up till junior high. This our faults maybe it's time we own up to it."

"Woah, where did this come from?" asked George, "You never acted this upset about it. He's invulnerable he can't actually get into any real danger."

"What about when Mr. Krupp wakes up and finds his entire body numb from spanking or something whose he gonna blame for that."

"Good point."

"Besides we created Captain Underpants so, therefore, we can trust him. It's not like he's going to call our parents or anything."

"Stop," Harold said hollering to the conflicted hero who was giving himself a whack on the noggin. "You can't actually beat him because you're not actually Captain Underpants."

"This isn't the time to take part in your delightful sense of humor. There could be lives on the line. Ooff!" A normal person would have probably knocked their teeth out with that last blow he gave.

"No, listen to us Mr. Krupp is the actual you, you're Captain Underpantsness isn't real."

"What, that doesn't even make a diaper load of sense if I'm not Captain Underpants then where is the real Captain Underpants. I need him to whip this villain's behind."

"Don't you get it, you don't actually exist."

He now suddenly ceased fighting with himself, "I-I don't exist?"

"Yes, you only exist in our and Mr. Krupp's imaginations and on paper sometimes. Not in real life."

"I don't get it…" Captain Underpants had that worried look on his face once again.

Harold tried his best to summarize what happened to the dimwitted hero. "It's a long story. Basically, we hypnotized Mr. Krupp. We made him think he was the main character from our comics, and you would come every time someone snapped their fingers. Look, it was all an accident."

"Really? I'd say it was more of a joke we pulled," said George with a smug smile

Harold rolled his eyes," Okay, it was an accident and a joke that was admittedly kind of funny until we couldn't find a way to reverse its effects."

"So I'm not a superhero because you don't think I'm real?"

"We don't live in a comic book people don't fly around everywhere, but we gave you superpowers so technically you are a real one it's just your everything else isn't."

"My family Daddy Lonjohns Mommy Pantyhose in Underpantyland do they know about this? Can I ever see them again?" his eyes welled up and he hid his tears with the corners of his cape.

"We're telling you we made them up too. We wrote an origin story for you so you would overcome your fear of fabric starch."

"So-so my family they never exploded or anything. I just never had one in the first place," the heartbroken hero put his face down and blew his nose into his cape. "PPBBBBFFT."

Educating the man on why his entire life was a lie was getting really uncomfortable for the twosome. They were running out of ways to break the news to him. "I don't know you did have a nephew once he used to go to school here back when we were kindergartners."

"He was a jerk though."

"Yeah, he was the worst," Harold nodded, "although we did scare the pants out of him."

"No, we scared him with pants," George corrected giving off a short burst of laughter.

"Oh yeah, well same difference."

Captain Underpants didn't find their idea for a prank nearly as funny, "Why would you do that to a child?"

"He was in sixth grade that's practically an adult he and his friends were just being sissies."

"Pants can be a very scary thing to overcome! Did you apologize to him?" he said sternly tapping his foot.

"What no, we made him apologize to all the kids he bullied that's the whole reason we did it," George glanced over to Harold, "Since when did he get so bossy?"

Harold shrugged and shook his head, "All I know is that we need to find the closest water fountain possible. I need you to distract him." The blond boy headed out toward the main hall.  
"Where is he-?"

"Bathroom," George blurted out loud the first things that popped into his head, "He really needed to go, and he had to make sure none of your family members got flushed in there. Hey, look what's this? Oh wow," he grabbed some random objects hanging on the desk. "Pencil and paper maybe oh boy you can try making your own comic with this," he said shoving the junk into his hands.

"I suppose writing down my own adventures could be fun…if they actually meant something," he rather begrudgingly, but in an instant his face shot back up again, "Hold on, I know what to write," Captain Underpants jotted something down on the piece of paper real quick, and hid it behind his back.

George decided to play along to Underpants' childish antics, "Soo what did you wriitttee?"

The bald man coyly swayed back and forth, "I'm not telling it's a SURPRISE." he said with a tone that a sneaky little four-year-old would have.  
Before he could steal it from him Harold returned with a plastic cup "George I got the W-A-T-E-R," he winked.

George instantly came up with another diversion "Oh look, I think I might here a hostage on the desk. Professor Poopypants must have shrunk them so small that they're microscopic. Here take a look I can see a tiny person waving their hands for help."  
He put his face in millimeters distant of the desk and declared, "never fear tiny person, for I Captain Underpants will- Bluurrgg," Harold dunked the contents of cup on the back of the bald hero's head.

"We got him wet. Now what?"

"We'll work this out later. For now, I have an idea," George suggested.

"What?" asked Harold

"Run!" and away from the storm they went.

Mr. Krupp gave a wide yawn and sat himself up, "Oh, I feel like I slept why am I still so tired…and wet? Wait, ouch everything is sore." Like a rickety tree, his stiff body got up off his chair and did a couple of stretches. He then lifted up his mug only to find it empty" And that's just great they took all my coffee, Perfect. It's not like I need to pay for that, and all those window and curtain replacements every other week." Mr. Krupp turned his head, "Oh come ON!"

Just then Miss Anthrope emerged from his door, "have you calmed down yet because I was hoping-"

"Come in here again without asking, and you're FIRED!" he yelled on instinct and she bolted to her computer, and started typing away like mad. "Why do I still work at this place I can't be left alone anymore there's always someone who wants me to hold their hand and do the work for them. Well, tough luck sweetheart try interacting a population ravaging munchkins all day, and see how insane you become." He took a deep breath and sat back down Mr. Krupp. Strangely enough and found a sticky note on the corner of his pants. "What this?" he grumbled ripping it off "Snap your fingers be a winner... Ha! That's hilarious these kids aren't even trying anymore. Oooh, what you gonna do boys? Is a tiger going to eat me once I snap my-."

!SNAP!

Mr. Krupp did exactly what the person who wrote it wanted and a goofy smile came back on his face. Only this time it wasn't just goofy it was determined a smile of someone who felt like he won.  
The Waistband Warrior suited up for business and busted through the door to the office.

"Wahh," she shrieked,"that's like the third heart attack you've given me today! What have you come to fire me now Krupp?"

"Haha, of course, I would never light you on fire. Whatever I may say ever just forget it," he said joyfully patting her on the back.  
She didn't respond she just tucked her glasses in and starred nervously at her computer screen.

"They said I had a nephew right, hey Mrs. Writing lady can you tell me where he is?"

"Kipper graduated, remember? I know I'm behind schedule, but you don't have to give me patronizing requests and nicknames."  
"Y'know, something about you looks familiar..."

"What, err Acck," she slapped herself, "Of course I do, I've worked here for 8 years!"

"No somewhere else...are you sure there isn't a Mrs. Krupp?"

"No one that I've ever heard of although I do think you try to marry Ms. Tribble one time. When guys got to your wedding day though she blew it off because of your nose."

Captain Underpants then got curious went on to stick his finger in it, "Perhaps that person was right to be cautious it is oddly shaped like a mushroom."

She ignored his immature actions and rolled her chair back carrying his nephew's permanent record "Sir, that's great and I understand you were in a state of shock. Why are you exactly asking me these questions again?"

Captain Underpants was busy picking up debris in his the left nostril when he suddenly had a revelation, "I've got it you’re the lady I saved from that giant robot booger monster thing. I'm a bit upset I sacrificed one of my favorite capes for you however I'm glad to see that you're alright."  
She backed up in her chair away from his snot stained finger "How- how do you know about any of that? You weren't there."  
"But I'm sure you were the one that I-" he looked down," Oh I get it." He began unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his belt as Miss Anthrope tried her best to cover her face.

"PLEASE don't do this to me, Mr. Krupp. Not on school property. There are children that go here you know!"  
He didn't stop however until he was only in his underwear and the windows were curtainless. "Tra-la-laaaa, see how about now?"  
The secretary's hands shifted from her eyes to her mouth. She gasped," You really are that waist banded warrior that rescued me that day. Tell me, why did you leave me once I kissed you?"

"I don't recall that part at all, but I'm sure I had a good reason for it."

"I can't believe you, Mr. Krupp, you've been a superhero this entire time. So then why are you a school principle? Don't you have more important things to do?"

"The whole principle thing is just a cover-up and hobby I have when I'm not protecting everyone. My official superhero name is Captain Underpants you've most likely heard my deeds around town already."

"This is great news, I have to tell everyone!" she grabs onto a microphone and pushes a button. "Attention students, teachers, and faculty. I am proud to announce that our school principal has been keeping a secret from you in that he's actually mmphpphhhh-" Her announcement was stopped by Captain Underpants shoving his hands into her pie hole.

"You don't want to do that."

"And why not?" she asked in a low mumble.

"I have what the other superheroes like my good pals Superman and Batman refer to as a secret identity. We have them to protect the ones we love, or something along those lines. Come to think of it I've never actually read any comic books besides my own."  
"Aww, that's so sweet. Don't worry, if it means that much then your secret's safe with me." She smiled and turned the intercom back,"Never Mind just get those kids back to whatever it was you were doing to them."

"You've been working really hard for a long time you should take a break."

"Are you saying I can take the week off?" she asked with an excited jump in her step.

"Oh-ho, I don't see why not."

"Yippee!" she jumped in the air. "You have no idea how stressful this week has been for bent down to reach her foot, "Do you mind if I take it off these heels, they have been killing me."

"Yes, you can, and in fact, I'm making it against the rules to enforce a dress code. No uniforms will be the school can take off whatever you want to."

She nodded and kicked off her heels, but to Captain Underpants's surprise, she then took it to the next step. "Thank the heavens this dress was really getting under my skin," Miss Anthrope stripped of the pink gown leaving her with only undergarments.

"Wow, I like your Spirit!" Captain Underpants cheered. "Woot!" They both yelling now twirling around their respected clothes running around the office. The faculty might have taken a peek, but they were quick to walk away from the window as fast as possible. If you'd ask the current principal, he'd say they were all jealous of them.

The two took a quick breather after ten minutes of frolicking," Mr. Captain Underpants, you look rather charming and handsome without that rag on your head. "Miss Anthrope gushed.

"Why thank you," Captain Underpants responded with a dashing pose and smile.

"Oh I could just," she puckered her drooling saliva filled lips towards the hero. He backed up and pushed her lips away with his finger.

"Haha, maybe some other time," he laughed nervously.

She shrugged, "Suit yourself," and skipped out of the building.  
Luckily for her, no one noticed except for Mr. Meaner who making kids run laps outside, but all he did was yell, "Dang, I didn't know we did casual Friday's."

This principal however still had things he wanted to do. "She seems nice I wonder where she put them," he picked up the permanent record of the former elementary student. "Ah here it is," he opened up the file," let's see Kipper Krupp sounds like a friendly enough kid. "What is this other stuff down here on the bottom. Okay, an easy to follow map to his house. That's neat. There is some sort of secret code down here too." He examined the grades Kipper had from way back in kindergarten. Captain Underpants never went to school to formally know what the letters actually meant. He couldn't read half of them anyway since there were lines blocking them replacing the letters with new letters like a crossed-out letter F with an A over the top and a G with a B- scribbled over. "This doesn't spell anything that girl should really start reconsidering her career." The few words he did make out was the word 'Pass' and the signature of Mr. Krupp.

"Aww so he did help this young man graduate maybe I misjudged my other character for being a terrible person…" he pondered for a second and then shook his head," Nope, still not going to take my chances!" He slammed the document closed. "Now to visit him. Better suit up for I rather be safe than sorry." He opened the door to the teachers' lounge where a group of teachers discussed their complaints about how their students were giving them a mid-life crisis.

"Hello fellow educators," he waved," does anybody have any super absorbent underwear I can borrow?"

"What for?" a couple of them asked with odd looks on their faces.

"Ah yes, you see it is because mine is really wet."

That got a variety of responses from the crowd most of which were from the Eww, gag, Too Much Information kind of categories.  
"I believe some kid left a pair of boxers in the lost in found. You can lee them just Please never ask for something like this again."

"Thank you so much hehe," he chortled as he shut the door. Captain Underpants took child-sized boxers and cleverly put the boxers on top of his head keeping the waistline just above his eyes. "All set, now even if my enemies know my true weakness, they won't be able to touch me with these ultra-absorbent boxer shorts." He climbed to the ledge of the window and tugged the new curtain off the rack, "Woops! I almost left my cape I can't take to the skies without it Tra-la-laaaa," and away he went jetting across the sky.


	3. Uncle Ben is a Superhero.

To keep a low profile, the Waistbanded Warrior was practically flying in the clouds.

Most people down below didn't notice although one kid walking with his mom to the car from the grocery store thought he saw something weird. "Mommy, I saw a guy in the clouds."

"Is this the same guy wearing his underwear fighting the giant monster you told me about the other week?"

"I don't know he looks like him, but this time he's not almost naked. He's got his underwear on his head too."

"That's nice, just let me make another phone call to the child psychologist. Can you give me a hand with loading up these fat-free donuts in the car?"

About five minutes went by, and Captain Underpants arrived at the address of Kipper Krupp depicted by the files. He slowly landed onto his front yard and came up to the doorstep. "He's not outside so I guess I'm going to have to go get the boy," he pronounced pulling up his pants.

He began kicking the door down and before the hinges broke someone rushed to it, "You're seriously going to get a beat down if you think you can come here and BREAK INTO OUR-oh it's you..."

"Oh good, someone answered," Captain Underpants put his foot back down. He waved at the young man at the door who appeared to well into his sophomore year of high school. He had a few extra nose hairs and whiskers growing from his lips. He was also rocking a buzz cut and had grown to almost reaching his uncle's height. He still, however, had the same shaped faced and round build as Captain Underpants. "Can't say you look exactly like your picture, but your nose is too shaped like a mushroom so we must be related."

"What do you want Uncle Benny?" he stated in a rather hostile fashion.

"Benny?" Captain Underpants asked and looked puzzled for a moment then started giggling to himself, "That's his actual name pffft. Haha, it's actually kind of funny. Benny Krupp sounds like one of those jokes people make when they put two words together even-even though I don't know what those two words would make up. It still sounds like it would be funny if I say them together. Benny Krupp! Hahaha." He held his stomach in a laughing fit because of his alter ego's pun centric name even though he didn't have any background knowledge to know that it reflected on his own economic state in society.

"Ugg," Kipper groaned somewhat appalled by his uncle's behavior, "and you wonder why Mom doesn't let you over anymore. What's with those boxer shorts? You gonna take them off of your head or what?"

"That depends do you think the coast is clear. You don't see any liquid-based enemies ready to attack from behind do you?"

"I guess that explains the red towel over your neck."

"Anyways I came to check, and say what have you been up to…," he looked down re-read the documents. "Kipper my boy."

"Nothing much, no thanks to you. Y'know turns out other schools aren't very accepting when people change their grades for them. Yeah, don't think they missed that minor adjustment."

"Are you talking about these X marks?" he unfolded Kiper's permanent record. "There does seem to be a lot of them however there is not a cross on Pe without the additional e."

"P.E., that's because I was the all-star on the team, I quit wrestling though. My parents signed me up to join ROTC since I couldn't pass my regular classes," he said pulling up his dog tag from under his shirt to show him.

"Fighting for the country, that sounds like a great cause to support." Captain Underpants saluted his nephew with his cape majestically flowing behind him in the wind.

"Well… they decided to kick me out of that too," he sobbed tucking it back under.

"What for?" said his uncle in distress.

"Ever since I entered junior high, they spread around rumors that I'm obsessed with a bunch of girly baby stuff like dolls, princesses, behaving like an un-caged delinquent and tea parties."

"Is there anything wrong with that?" the waistband warrior asked earnestly.

"Not everyone, but it is for me though. I got thrown into a dumpster by freaking five-year-olds for gosh sake. They think I can't handle anything both my peers and teachers. I was so used to being top dog back in your elementary school, now even my former friends Loogie, Bugg, and Finklestien all believe I'm a woos. They won't talk to me anymore."

"How very unfortunate, sounds like you should have made better friends."

"What are you talking about? You're the one that told me to hang out with them. When I went to class in kindergarten and you walked me there holding my hand you went to the kids in the back of the classroom who were flinging their boogers at each other. You were all like hey those idiots look desperate for a person like you to lead them. The crazy thing is I went along with it, and never questioned any of your judgment afterward."

Captain Underpants had no idea what this kid was saying, but even he could tell that he clearly didn't have his act together, "I was only…trying to help you lead a better life."

He spat back, "I got sick of the kids mocking me and I failed every class so I stopped going to school entirely. Right now, I'm homeschooled I guess, but Mom and Dad don't know what to do with me."

"You ever thought about going back? I'm sure if you give it your best shot you will win all your battles in the end. That's what I've always told myself."

"Grrrgggh you'll never understand you're able to control in every aspect of your life and everyone underneath you. You'll never know what it's like to not be taken seriously," the angsty teen was about to cry until he looked back at his uncle. "Do you mind? Take those boxers off your head," he yelled," I can't take you seriously like that." Captain Underpants obediently followed his nephew's wishes and stuffed the boxers into his pants, but it didn't make much of a difference to change Kipper's sour mood.

"Can you just GO!" his face turned a bright shade of red, "I don't need your pity." Kipper closed took action, and closed the door on him, however…

"No, Hold the phone," Captain Underpants forcibly jammed his foot in the door stopping it in its tracks, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to get the chance to meet you."

"Huh?" he paused, and let go of the doorknob.

"Did I say meet? Haha," he laughed like an awkward dad who pretends he didn't get his whole family lost while he is well aware of the fact that it's his fault, and he's just trying his best to improvise to appease everyone in the car. "I mean reconnect with you; it's been too long I need a chance to start over. It's like we don't even know each other anymore. It's such a lovely day out too, and I was told by various resources that there is an extremely low crime rate."

Kipper reopened the door and took a second to consider his offer. "I suppose I don't have anything to lose from leaving the house. Ai'ght I'll give you a second chance whatever you do though don't tell my parents were going."

"Excellent, off we go," he took Krupp's nephew by the arm and carried him to the local marketplace, and he reluctantly joined him in his merriment. "So, what can we do together? The mental asylum museum isn't open yet. Water-slides are a no go. That place doesn't have fabric softener so that's no fun.

"Ice-cream not a liquid or a solid, yet it looks so yummy tasting. It must have a great source of energy that I so vitally need. I've got say it's most magnificent design for a dessert I've ever seen." Captain Underpants clapped as he skipped to the cart owner who was he was dead on the inside. "We'll take two please."

"That'd be ten dollars, sir," the owner stated without even caring enough to open his eyes.

"Dollars?" Captain Underpants twitched nervously.

"Here," he took some doe out from his pocket. "I got an extra 20 dollars that I stol- I mean 'borrowed' from my mom's purse. I'll take a rocky road," he ordered exchanging the money. "Let me guess, chocolate is still your favorite."

Captain Underpants starred at the images of ice-cream flavors analyzing their various features, "That cone reminds me a bit too much of something that would spring from the mouth of a talking toilet. Same goes for that yellow flavored one, and that green one resembles a booger nugget. That red one there is perfect though it matches my cape." He put his cape right next to the cherry flavored ice-cream picture to make the comparison.

"Okay whatever, he wants the one that matches his towel." The unphased ice-cream man scooped it onto the cone, took the money, and continued to stare blankly into nothingness.

The Krupps sat together under a park shade each enjoying their ice-cream at their own pace which involved Captain Underpants poking his and Kipper scarfing his down. "Man, this is really good," something about eating the frozen treat lightened him up, and he gave off a warm smile. "Sorry I was tripping you up bout it earlier, but ya know I always found it kind of cool when I was little that you would always stick up for me even when I didn't ask. Can't say every family member would do that for me. I was just mad at you because," he sighed, "I've had trouble adjusting to school without you."

"Ahh, well you're always welcomed to come back to the school for meant for young children that I'm currently residing in"

"I'll pass on that offer, but thanks. Can I mention something kind of weird though? You're a lot more funny than I remember, Uncle Benny. It's like ya have something to enjoy outside that wasteland of a school. I wouldn't call that bad though."

A bucket of guilt dripped over Captain Underpants' insides. "Can I say something I've been holding back in from you?"

"Sure, go ahead," he said slurping down an entire scoop of rocky road.

He wanted to let it all out, yet the words wouldn't come out "Just say it. Say it Captain Underpants, tell this poor boy you're not his real uncle but you're a super-powered being that came from an alien planet where everyone wears underwear except none of that happened according to them. Doh, why is this so hard?"

"I may sound uplifting and amazing at most times, but lately I've been trying to compete against an intimidating person who wants to take me down, and I don't know how to beat him."

"Just sock e'm in the jaw," Kipper replied giving several more licks to his cone.

"I've tried to doing that sadly it wouldn't work for some reason. How about I say it like this. It's like for the first time in my entire existence I'm about to take on a new role, and I don't feel confident to say that I know what I'm doing. It's unlike any battle I've ever fought before. I was curious as to what you would do."

Kipper thought intensely while actively chewing on his ice-cream cone, "Hmm, What would I do?... You're still in charge of the place, right? So, then ya could have the power to change stuff around you or whatever to make you feel more comfortable, y'know? If that doesn't work, I guess you can always try the opposite and go from the inside out."

"That is so smart," he said proudly embracing his nephew and accidentally getting his cherry-flavored on the back of his tank top much to Kipper's dismay.

"Stop it, other people can see us y'know."Only the chronically depressed ice-cream man was around, yet Kipper's is face turned pink from embarrassment as he tried to push him away.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say your very capable of taking power in making your own decisions. How about I give you a piece of advice if any of your doubts, fears, and restrictions hold you back sit back relax and tear all your worries away and hope for the best." RIIIPP! he tore his pants entirely off his body so hard that there was a giant gaping hole in the front. "Use this as a token of my remembrance and never ever let anyone use pants against you again. I sincerely hope we can do this more often. I had a blast!" Captain Underpants rocketed into the earth's atmosphere and was gone in a twinkle of an eye.

His nephew's jaw dropped. Kipper rubbed his eyes to see if they were functioning properly, and looked down back at his almost fully consumed ice-cream. "Woah, I that was one heck of a brain freeze back there," he walked off dragging his uncle's ripped pants to his house.


	4. The Accidental Schoolpocalypse

The Waistbanded Warrior floated into the window of his school and put on another pair of pants that he found. Don't ask. "My nephew is right. If I want to keep this up I have to try harder to make the necessary changes to myself if I want to keep this new role. I'll start by doing what he would do and enforce the rules of this school even if it means getting rid of these." He piled up a bunch of the Captain Underpants comics and dropped them straight into the trash can. "Why does this not feel right? I know I'm not really that hero on the cover still, why do I care so much?" He tried facing the other direction, but he couldn't bring himself to give them up and retreated to the garbage to dig them back out. "He said it was against the rules to sell them I never heard him say anything about keeping them. I'm sure nobody would mind if I do."

Once that was over with, he then took the next step and grabbed something resembling school manual. He began flipping through the student handbook's 9,769 pages and began reading them out loud. "No whispering, no laughing, no breathing, no wearing pajamas, no nose picking, no dying on the school campus without cleaning up afterward. In or outside of class there shall be no use of words such as poopoo, tinkle, diarrhea, potty, fart, projectile vomiting, or UNDERWEAR!? That's it! These aren't laws their punishments, and unjustified ones at that. Time to free the prisoners." He took the microphone without any hesitation. "Greetings citizens of this school I have another announcement there I will no longer be enforcing a school dress code in fact I'm going to ban along with I trust all of you are good enough kids to make your own right choices that goes for you older people too. Just as long as it involves staying in school. Also forgot to mention whoever attempts to put water on my head will be immediately suspended. Okay, that is all."

Mr. underpants put down the speaker. "Ahh nailed it," he lunged back on his chair relived. "There is nothing wrong that could possibly come from that," he thought satisfied with his decision making.  
The announcement echoed into every classroom in the middle of the teachers' boring lectures.

"Did he say what I think he said?" asked Miss Calculator knocking on the substitute science teacher's door.

"Does it matter? As long as I'm getting paid for this, he can say whatever he wants. Hey kids, I know you don't care enough to actually learn this useless garbage. Instead how about we have a party and throw hydrochloric acid in the air!" like manna from heaven toxic chemicals were raining from above.

"So Miss Anthrope was right, we do have casual Friday's," cheered Mr. Meaner, "in that case I've been waiting for ages to break out this speedo." The poor second-graders attending P.E. class were now permanently scarred for life.

The children in the lunchroom heard the broadcast and starred at each other including George and Harold. "Uh-oh, guess who got out again."

"No way, we literally snapped him back out of it a few hours ago."

"It sounds someone snapped him back into it. We should do something."

George wrapped his arms around the folds of his stomach. "Can we at least wait until after lunch? We've been waiting in this line forever, and I'm so hungry that I'll consume whatever grub they serve me."

"It looks like this lunch line just became a stockpile of ammo. Brace yourself," Harold lifted up his tray, "I can feel a food fight coming on!" Artificial corn syrup, applesauce, and gooey unidentified meat substances flew across the room like the French Revolution got mixed in with a meteor shower.

SPLATT! Something bounced off of Georges tray. He crept down to pick it up.

"Gross," said Harold.

"Five hundred second rule," George said sticking a couple of crumbles into his mouth. "What? The lunch ladies didn't make it so it's edible. Whoever had the idea to throw a delicious cream cheeses cupcake out is the one who should reconsider their decisions."  
After that good old fashion food war, they headed toward Mr. Underpants' office. In there he kept himself busy writing something down, but he stopped as soon as the two entered.

"Greeting fellow students," he saluted to them," How are you enjoying this fine day? Did you finish your homeworks and such?"

"No, that last decree you made took the teach out of the teachers," Harold explained to the naïve hero.

"Well, As your principal, Mr. Benny Krupp, I had to make sure they were well prepared and able to against societal limitations by removing them entirely. I say homework doesn't have to be at home as long as it's always where your heart is."

"Don't even try with us. We know your Captain Underpants," George objected.

"Okay, I give up you guys got me," he said playfully poking George on the nose. "Isn't this great though I can do his job for him and as a bonus, I'll be able to day on my spare time I might even to prevent crime forever as long to as I'm always around to sense it before any diabolical scheme is put into action. It's Genius, isn't it?" Captain Underpants chimed with optimism however the two didn't buy into what he was planning.

"Look, we are sorry that we sounded like we were trying to get rid of you earlier, but we need you to switch back."

"Why would you need me to switch? Nobody misses the other guy like you said he lives all by himself and you're the only two that have noticed any change. Now that I think of it didn't you say he was mean to you and all the students? Mistreating them in cruel and vile ways. Who would want a guy like that back?"

"Mr. Krupp would probably want Mr. Krupp back." Harold shyly responded. The smile on their friend's face shrunk and morphed to a slight frown.  
"No offense, but you sometimes don't have the best judgment," Harold said trying so hard to not make it sound harsh. "In other words, you can't just ban all the rules or everyone is going to lose their minds. Do you know how long these teachers and students have been holding it all in? They're not like us we take baby steps over time however if they all let their inner wild fun prankiness out at once this whole place could blow up!"

"I can't believe you want to take his side. I can't go back as him," he cried. "What if he doesn't give me another turn?"

"We hate to say it, but he was there first. It's like an unspoken rule, and it's not really fair for you to completely take over."

"I thought you two liked pulling pranks well, Congratulations! You can pull as many as you want on the school or me. Do it, I won't even get mad," he put up a sign behind his back with the words "KICK ME" scrawled on the back.

"The whole reason we started pulling pranks though was BECAUSE this school was so oppressive."

"Don't fret Harold, I prepared prank for our dear principal," George squeezed water with a hole punctured in the top of the bottle cap that squirted out a long stream of clear liquid in the direction of the man's head. As the water was about to make contact with his scalp, he strapped something to his head that canceled out the effect.

"Ooh, you boys almost got me good for a second. Good thing I had these ultra-absorbent boxer shorts to back me up. Now run along to class you two. I'll be here safeguarding the world both on and off of school hours," he stated full of pride and guided them out the door.  
Within minutes that felt like hours, the entire Jerome Horwitz elementary school was wrapped up in complete and utter chaos. The bathrooms were flooded with water, leftovers, and who knows what. Kids were turning on each other left and right at every grade trying to see how far their tricks on each other could go. The teachers as long as they were getting paid couldn't care less instead of instructing a class, they gathered in the teachers' lounge to have a giant pillow fight. It became pretty much the elementary school version of Armageddon. If a group of inspectors came to the school, they would be all like, "HOLY GUACAMOLE this place sure is a MESS!" and then they would replace the principal, teachers, the building, and eventually even the entire student body.

"Where's the janitorial staff when you need them?" cried a kid drowning in goo from the cafeteria fight.

"They're probably out pretending to surfboard on their mops," said another kid who had his shirt clothes pinned to his locker  
"Woah, Righteous!" said one who just slipped on down by the wave of the mud on the floor.

George nonchalantly threw a roll of toilet paper in the hallway only for it to go 4ft and join the mountain-sized stack of toilet rolls. "Wow, that did not take long."

"I know, pulling pranks isn't as fun anymore when everything is already trashed. This place is going to get shut down if we don't do something, and that means we might end up moving to different schools. If we can't control him anymore then we need to get Mr. Krupp back!"

"Does that mean?"

"Yes, unfortunately, we're going to have to tell him about you-know-who."

"Because when we told you-know-who about him that worked out perfectly," George crossed his arms. "I’ve got an idea how about instead we travel to an alternate dimension and replace him with his doppelganger to be our principal. It's full proof I tell you."

"If there really was a parallel dimension, wouldn't that mean that the other one would be having an identity crisis too and therefore purposefully causing tyranny as opposed to accidentally encouraging anarchy. Then in that case which wouldn't that make everything come full circle, but possibly worse."

"What you’re not a fan of sci-fi?"

"I'm stressed. I don't need your sarcasm today, George."

Before the two could even get near enough to spy on their wacky principal, the world-famous tattletale walked in first with hauling a mysterious tarped thingamabob behind him ready to bargain.


	5. Operation Zombie Nerds

Meanwhile still in the principal's office, was having a grand old time doing something off-screen until he heard a knock at his office and a shrill objectively annoying sounding voice coming from the other side. "Oh, Mr. Krupp!" it shrieked while banging on the door.

Captain Underpants ran to the door and welcomed Melvin in with a giddy step in his foot. He likes the idea of his job actually giving him something to do since he had grown tired of his crime-free vacation. "Greetings young one, what seems to be the problem?"

"Ahem," he coughed, "before I start, I thought you should know Umm... Your fly is down."

"You must be mistaken Flying makes you go up, not down. If you want, I will explain it to you after I patrol the city later."

This remark puzzled the brainiac, yet he continued. "Listen, I need you to approve of something the teachers said I should have to check in with the principal before I can officially submit it to this year's science fair. They've been onto me since the semi-annual invention convention although I assure you it was those two pranksters fault for that fiasco," he muttered.

"I can do that," disguised Captain Underpants proudly replied, "so where is your little contraption thingy?"

"It's right here," Melvin pulled in a heavy cart with a sheet on it that was hiding behind the door. He then proceeded to lift off the cover to reveal a machine on wheels twice his size with an equally large laser sticking out in the front. "I call it the TRASH TERMINATOR 2000. Pretty great Huh? I've been working on this baby for about 10 months and five hours," Melvin said petting his prized creation.

The fake principal nervously loosens the tie around his would-be neck, "That's a Uhh pretty big gun you got in the front. Are you sure something like that isn't hazardous to somebody's not being dead?"

"Don't let the design fool you, my inventions are made to be perfectly safe. It is only the fault of the user if something bad happens. Here, let me demonstrate for you." Melvin turned on the power to his machine, and it lit up all over. The green energy concentrated on the tip of the laser until...

ZzzzAP! Boooomm!

Captain Underpants jumped behind a desk as a mini nuclear explosion completely disintegrated what formerly was the principal's trash can. "See as a plus it's even good for the environment. The TRASH TERMINATOR 2000 is a green way to pick up trash and save the world from daily human wastes."

"I can't argue with saving the world, but what if something this destructive falls into the hands of evil. This machine looks like something my nemesis Dr. Diaper would come up with."

"Who?"

"Sorry child, but on second thought I think we're not going to have a science fair," he said ripping off the science fair promotional poster in the room.

"Butt- but 10 months and five hours," Melvin pleaded, "important people with scholarships will be there as judges. You can't do this."

"Design-wise I think it looks creative I would give it a thumbs up in that case. I think it should belong in something like a uhh…" he looked at the poster hidden underneath the torn science fair poster. "An Arts Festival!"

He scoffed at the idea. "Art is just for people who want to be unsuccessful in their future."

"Don't be so sad little boy I'm sure you'll make an excellent impression there."

"I didn't come in here to be insulted, errggg…" He tried to push the TRASH TERMINATOR 2000 out, but it was too dense for his feeble arms to handle.

"I can help with that!" Captain Underpants used all his brute strength in his arm to rocket to rocket Melvin and his bucket of bolts into the administrator's office.

While all that ended George and Harold devised a quick plan to lure Captain Underpants to switch back as they hung outside his door to his headquarters. "We need to pull those boxers off of him, and somehow trick him into getting himself wet without him being too suspicious. This challenge might be a three-man job. Hey, Donny Shoemyer!" they yelled at a boy who was blankly at the wall." Do you want to help us out with one of our pranks?"

"Okay, as soon as I get out of this last one. Some fifth-graders used very strong invisible tape when they attached me to this wall," said Donny trying to wriggle his way out.

"Yeesh," Harold winced and the two friends ripped their fellow classmate out of his sticky clear bondage.

"Hurray," he cheered joyfully and then bent down to kneel at George and Harold's feet," I am in your debt, my masters. What do you want me to do in return?"

"Don't now. I honestly thought something would come to me if more group members were added, perhaps it couldn't have ano-," a heavy clanking sound rolled out from the principal's office with a somber Melvin Sneedly pushing it. "Never mind, I got something all we need to do is take advantage of his other weakness."

"Hey, Melvin. Can I borrow your glasses?" asked Harold.

"No," he replied to no avail as George just stole them right from under his nose.

"HEEYY," he screeched like a whiny brat, "Principal KRUPP! George and Harold are taking my private property." It didn't do much good however since their hypnotized principal was playing with the copying machine in the other room, but of course, Melvin couldn't see that.

"Okay here's how it's going to go, George, can you write down something along the lines of psspssttpssstt," Harold whispered in friend's ear which made Donny unable to make out their words. "After that prepare to activate the sprinklers."

"On it!" he tore off a sheet from his notebook and wrote down phrases. "Here Donny, recite these when we tell you to," George said handing him off a script.

"Alright," replied Tim reading it over. "This has got to be one of your strangest pranks. Why are doing this exactly?"

"Because why not?" Harold said putting on Melvin's giant round glasses. "Boy, he must be blind these lenses are extra thick."

Melvin stamped his foot in anger," You know I can still hear you!"

"Oh yeah, we might need this too."

"What?" he felt himself. "What did you even steal from me? Are you going catch and punish them yet Mr. Krupp? Mr. Krupp!" Melvin squinted and tried to feel his way toward the door, but instead, he knocked over his own invention and got himself tangled up in the mess of broken machine parts. "Whhyyy World?" he yelled to the sky.

By now the threesome was setting their plan up in motion. Donny and Harold stood out in the courtyard of Jerome Hortwitz Elementary while George was near the controls for the water pressure system that unlike everything else appeared to be untouched.

"I'm surprised nobody's used this yet. It would be awesome if someone applied enough water pressure to shoot up the school in the air like a geyser," George thought to himself. "Okay, you guys ready for this," he yelled straight across to his friends on the other side.

"Not yet," Harold yelled back. He put the tattle-tale's iconic glasses and bow-tie on and made some teeth marks under his lip using a black marker. "All set!" Harold gave a thumbs up to George.

"Oh no," Donny blurted out in an overdramatic fashion," Help, I'm being atacced by a vishus ZOMBIE NERD!"

George sighed from a distance, "Sorry, that's what happens when somebody rushes me. Don't judge!"

Harold didn't have time to complain about the mispronunciations of basic vocabulary words. He continued executing the rest of the plan. "Blehh, brains, cafeteria food, numbers math, and stuff blehh. I honestly forgot what they even say, blehh."

"Harold, I warn you the alyens wer back to brainwash us, and you didn't listen oh the humanety. If only there was a person to came save us. Ahhhhhhhhhh."

"Do I hear someone crying for help?" said the proud hero peeking out from the broken window that still had the impression of his body on it. "A Zombie Nerd, I knew those naughty aliens' brainwashing techniques were behind all of this that's why my sidekicks were spouting out lies earlier! Which means perhaps my past wasn't a deception after all." He was overcome with a sense of hope from this idea. "Do not fear student I will decimate the vile fiend for you." He went back in the room and glorious hero in a dashing red cape in his underwear popped up in the principle's place. "Tra-la-laaa-laaaa,"he cried for battle.

"Holy Cow! Where did Captain Underpants come from?" asked Donny sounding completely aloof. "You guys really are the big leagues when it comes to pranks."

"Shh, stick to the script," Harold grabbing Donny by the shoulders.

He nodded and gave him an ok signal, "I dont no how it all happened my life is flashing before my eyes. Krawl on the floor pairishing. Woops, it looks like I was only supposed to preform that last part" Donny Shoemyer curled up on the ground to act like he was perishing.

The hero of epic proportions flew down to the scene in a rather unfitting happy mood. "I been looking forward to some saving and action all day. It's great to know the public still needs me." He lifted and caught Zombie Harold by the neck-tie, "So who do we have here…Harold is that you? Am I too late? Oh, if only I had been here sooner," he said squeezing Harold into his chest and lower abdomen. "Don't worry I'll get you the cure, but to keep everyone else on earth from catching it I'm going to have to send you to a quarantine in Uranus where they'll take good care of you." Captain Underpants held Zombie Harold by his shorts preparing to drop kick him into outer space.

Harold frantically tried to wriggle free, "No, Bad Captain Underpants! You're not supposed to do that I'm not really a zombie nerd. Donny do something!" he called out in desperation to the kid next to him who appeared to be staring intently at the back of the bald hero's head.

"Hey, those are my boxers," Donny climbed onto the hero's back wrapped his head and used all his weight to pull himself and the shorts onto the ground. "Thanks, you guys. I've been looking everywhere for them."

Captain Underpants felt his hands around his exposed noggin, "My super-absorbent boxer shorts. No, give them back. Please! I need them or else…," showers of tiny droplets of water sprung from the ground as George activated the sprinkler system hitting the principal all over his body. "You…you guys wanted this to happen…didn't you?" he said uttering his last words. He hadn't opened his eyes yet, but Harold could see a scowl forming on his forehead.

"Quick, we need something to neutralize him!"

"I've got a stink bomb. I was saving it for later in case those kids came back, but I owe it to you for the shorts. Have fun," Donny waved goodbye while hugging his ultra-absorbent boxers with his other arm.

"Good enough for me," he threw it on the ground and gas emerged from it creating a yellow-ish hazy fog over them. Harold was able to hold his nose in time however Mr. Krupp wasn't so lucky.

"Yuck, what is that? Is smells worse than the bathrooms next to the cafeteria." In seconds he was down for the count.

"George, we're good now help me carry him."

He turned off the sprinklers and waited until the smell dissipated before getting himself squashed by Mr. Krupp's in his rag-doll like state. "What did this man have," exclaimed George, "thirty barrels full of ice-cream?"

Flash forward to about 30 minutes later they were edging up to the stairs with his borderline lifeless body in their arms. They passed by a blind Melvin who was still there too struggling to rebuild his invention so Harold made a quick stop, "Thanks for cooperating with us against your will. Here are these round bricks you have for eyes, and your dorky bow-tie back." He threw them into Melvin's hands and he ran off.

Melvin pupils enlarged as he put his glasses back on. "So that's what was missing," he clipped his bow-tie back on his vest. "You know I didn't even notice it was gone because I felt a small bump that area. Now I can confirm that I am indeed developing an Adams Apple in that spot therefore in a few months I should be-"

"Yeah don't care bye," the boys slammed the door carrying Mr. Krupp's body with them.

"Aren't you going to help me fix this it was your fault...why do I even try with them anymore?"

They entered the room it was a lot more yellow this time around. They sat down unconscious Krupp in his desk and made sure his clothes were mostly on. "Okay, I think we're good to wake him up," Harold put two of his fingers together.

"Snapping really? What are you THINKING Harold!?" he yelled at his friend in concern.

"Sorry, it's a force of habit I guess," Harold went by the door, and pulled the emergency fire alarm instead.


	6. MIND EXPLOSION

WEEEE!OOOHH!WEEEOOOH! beeped probably the most obnoxious fire alarm in history. It was loud enough to trigger Mr. Krupp ,and wake him up in an instant. "Wahh, fire hoohah. Is there a fire on the campus? Can someone please make sure my car is safe!"

"Calm down, there's no fire it was a prank we pulled on it to wake you up."

"Where's Edith? I told her not to let anyone inside my office today."

"The lady usually out in front, we haven't seen her lately."

"Impossible," he angrily slammed his fist, "she thinks because I was out, she can take off an early on Friday. If she wants to see her paycheck again, she better be ready to work two Saturdays to make-up for this treason."

"Principal Krupp we came to warn you. We were in dire circumstances earlier in the year we hypnotized you one thing lead to another the now school is a wreck and the person vicariously living inside your brain wants to take over your life by making you snap your fingers. Did I say that your Captain Underpants," George rambled," because you are."

Mr. Krupp had a very delayed reaction to that statement nevertheless, "Ha! that's a bunch of Bunk. Now seriously get out of here, I don't want to hear about your dull-witted books while I think up a proper punishment."

"No, it's not. I don't even get how you've avoided knowing about it for this long. Don't you ever watch the news Mr. Krupp?"  
"Of course not, it's just a bunch of manipulative political propaganda and fake information broadcasted by a bunch shallow companies that want nothing but to rot the brain cells of today's youth, unlike the newspaper that I read."

"And Captain Underpants never showed up in the newspaper?"

"Well he did, but what are you boys exactly getting at here?" George and Harold simultaneously slapped themselves in their disbelief then marched over to the monitor, and turned one knob.

A TV news station came up with an anchor showing an image of Captain Underpants in action, "THIS BREAKING NEWS, well not really since this happened at least over a few month ago, but we're going to retread the same story because the stuff we scripted for this would bore you to tears anyway." The person transition as they tapped their irrelevant pieces of paper on the table, "This already just in a bank robbery stopped by an obese man who appears to be wearing nothing, but a cape and his underwear. His tactics are stopping the masked criminals by appearance alone as he seems to strike fear in them so hard that they are rolling on the ground laughing. Police reports come in saying that they are confused and then more confused. No one knows why any of this is happening…"

"There, now do you believe what we're saying?"

He raised his eyebrows. "So, this bozo that could be any bald man in his mid-30's or 40's with a size XXL pair of underpants running around. Plus, I have hair and he doesn't," he said smugly pointing to his toupee.

"My gosh, I didn't think it was possible. How is it that your dumber than your made-up superhero counterpart?" The kids turned up the volume as high as it could go.

"We will now show you audio of before seen recordings of this mysterious caped and underweared crusader," the anchor cut off to show a video file, "Fear not citizens, I've caught these vicious bandits and will keep any evil doer from doing harm upon you. For I Captain Underpants, will fight for justice and Pre-Shrunk Cottony. Tra-La-Laaaaa!"

This shocked Mr. Krupp so much that he flipped right out of his chair, "That's That's, that's my Voice!" he stammered. The principal grabbed something under the folds of his head where one would assume where a neck was supposed to be. "You're messing with me, you have to be," he gulped. "You tampered with the sound somehow!"

They both nodded no in unison. Mr. Krupp stood there in shock, and recalled all those window holes he had to repair that always had that same peculiar silhouette.  
"Nyahhh," he sounded rather creeped out. "I-I- thought all those were stress induced nightmares I kept having. You're telling me that all those times where I dreamed, I was running around in public in my underwear, WERE REAL?"

They answered with a soft "Yes."

"Man, I really need to get a refund from my therapist," he said to himself rubbing his scalp. "It does have some sort of logic I never thought anything like this would ever happen."

"In retrospective, this shouldn't be that groundbreaking you have literally hired aliens for our cafeteria staff, saw a bunch of toilets come to life, and one of your students transform into a giant disgusting sniveling booger monster."

"Do you guys have to say it so loud?" said Melvin's voice echoing outside of the door.

"If you can't fix me you two deserved to be punished by this. How about I return the favor, and hypnotize you two to do whatever I want!"  
"You can't we threw it out," George lied.

Harold nodded, "And we're not going to tell you how you switch back either."

He pounded on the desk in anger. "How about I turn you delinquents to the police. There has to be something against the law about manipulating an authority figure against his will."

"Even if that was a thing how are you going to prove that we are guilty?"

"With video footage of my transformation obviously."

"Like from those cameras?" asked Harold. Mr. Krupp looked up at the crushed cameras hanging around the room with sparks sputtering all over the place.

"GAH! You two destroyed the cameras!"

"Actually it wasn't us, it was Captain Underpants. He wasn't a huge fan of your work apparently."

"RrrGH Don't even say that ridiculous name. Fine, I don't care I'm proof enough. People will believe me once they see it for themselves. C'mere boys," he grabbed them by the collars of their shirts," All you have to do is snap your fingers, right? Well get ready to snap them!"

"If we do though you might not be able to turn back. The guy who likes wearing your underwear and who is possibly a captain wants to take over your job and life for you. Dude, just open your eyes and look around. Do you think you wrote all these yourself?" He was too discombobulated to notice them at first, but on the room millions of tiny yellow papers were plastered to the walls or circling around the room by the motion of his fan. All saying the same message "Snap your fingers' although some of the spellings were inconsistent and had the word "fingurs" plastered on instead.  
"Wahh, wah bubba who da wa?" he repeated in a terrified trance looking up at the ceiling. George put that nonsense to halt with a slap in their principal's face.

Harold gasped in horror. "What? I had to man, you know how long he can get stuck like that," George said to they were in any other situation, he would've probably slapped the irksome kid back. He had different reaction however when he finally snapped out of it.

"You-you ruined my li-I-iiffe" he said with his head slammed face down crying. It felt weird to see their cruel principal feel so helpless. It was not in the typical cowardly I don't want to fight the scary big bad evil thing way, but more of a depressing I give up and I don't know what to do anymore way. Admittedly, this was making them feel a bit guilty so the pranksters decided to cheer him up.

"It's okay, it's not like you had much of a life outside of school with no immediate family, friends, or hobbies except for yelling at kids and making their lives as miserable as yours." Mr. Krupp's head began to resemble a boiler overflowing from the inside. That wasn't the greatest approach to go about it apparently. "Look on the bright side Mr. Krupp. We're the only ones who know about your dilemma so technically you do still have some of your dignity left." He didn't look too pleased by this answer either his eyes did perk up though.

"Why would you do this to me? What did I ever do to you two?"

"Try flipping that question around then start asking for answers," George said trying to not rub in the sarcasm so hard.  
He vented in frustration for a few moments however the two could see it in his eyes though that he was losing his will to care. It was obvious that the thought of a underwear wearing madman with his face coming after him while he's asleep was very unsettling, and rightfully so. "Out of everything it had to be that," he sighed.

"Let me ask you one thing. If you hate Captain Underpants so much then why do you keep all our books when you could just destroy them?" George said as they kicked open a drawer containing all their stolen comics.

"Uhhh uhh...To learn about you boys obviously! You wrote and designed them and I-umm like to get inside your minds to see how you bubs think."

"You have all the same powers as him too like the ability to fly, strength, jumping over buildings without getting a wedgie, the ability to masterfully slingshot underwear."

"And being faster than a speeding waistband," he finished the. "Whatever that means."

"I knew he liked reading them," George said quietly to himself and Harold.

"Last time I checked I can't do any of those things. They would be highly improbable anyway I mean who wants to jump over buildings just to see if they wouldn't get a wedgie?"

"Were not kidding, you have superpowers in you just like him. You're not Captain Underpants-ish enough for them to work right now." The boys forgot how complicated it was to explain these kinds of things to people.

George tried reiterating that statement, "think about the times that you survived all those deadly scenarios. Without us granting you access to those powers you would most likely be dead by now."

"Enough, if I really have superpowers now that make me invincible then explain to me how I was able to get a papercut like this morning."

"Were not sure of the super specifics or rules or anything like that. It could only work all the way in the Captain Underpants part of your brain or it just doesn't count the stuff that doesn't kill you .Or maybe that's not even a cut it's dark mark on your hand from the paper, and you were just being a baby about it."

"The ink was still in the process of drying when you came to us." All this explaining wasn't really helping their cause they could tell he was trying to browse some sort of reverse treatment for hypnotism on the school computer and wasn't coming up with any valid search results. " We should also let you know while you were away, he uhh kind of banned all the rules which doesn't sound too shabby on paper we’ve definitely have had our issues with that handbook. We're afraid however that this might be getting out of hand though and we legally don't have the authority or anything so we are suggesting you yell at some people in the intercom, and then pretend we never told you anything."

"Let's wind back for a minute and see if I got this right. Your telling me the whole reason you hypnotized me in the first place was to take advantage of my mental state so I could do whatever you wanted, and you only snapped me back out of my delusions because you have the nerve to ask me to clean up all your messes that you yourselves caused from all of this."

"Pretty much, but not exactly" Harold squeaked with half an eye closed.

"You did all this because you wanted me to stop interfering with you guys, correct?" he stretched his arms in for an extra dramatic effect, "Whelp guess what, looks like you got your wish. Are you happy now?" He leaned in towards George and Harold, but they didn't respond back this time. "Hmph." Mr. Krupp grunted and brought up some old junk out of his desk, "If you excuse me I'm going to make sure I never hear any snapping fingers ever again for as long as I'm stuck like this," he put headphones the size of ear-muffs over his and pressed a play button on a tape player.

"A tape player. Did he go back in time to buy that thing from the dinosaur ages?"

"Stop fooling around," Harold insisted, "we still need him to fix everything. There's only one thing left to do."

"Please, Please, Please, Please…" They went on their knees begging holding onto his feet, but he shook them off. "The school though," they said tugging on Mr. Krupp's flabby arms, "think about the children for once man. They need you!"

"The school Haha, The school? I’ve got my own problems bubs, how can I care about keeping this job when someone can get me to strip on a whim by simply moving their hands?" He pushed the headphones tighter onto his head, and danced around. " La-la-la Traaa, I'm not listening. Get ou ouout of my offiiiice. NOW!"

George and Harold were discouraged by their failed attempt to bring their old principle back unaware that an alternate solution was sneaking up on them from right under their noses.


	7. Captain Krupp

"George I'm freaking out! What if their personalities mix the more, they learn about each other? What if Captain Underpants becomes uncharacteristically assertive, or what if Mr. Krupp becomes insane? EVEN MORE, THAN THEY ALREADY HAVE!"

"Shush Shh," he put his finger on Harold's mouth, "we won't let it come to that. For now, we need to come up with a temporary solution to all of this."

He felt a sudden bump on his left shoulder, "Hey, could you bozos move? Can't you see I'm trying to throw away my worthless invention that I worked 10 months and five hours on? Not to mention the other four hours I spent trying to find a trash can since I blew up most of them testing it out. Oooor the other 20 minutes, it took me to rebuild the thing after you two assaulted me and knocked it over. Anyways, you guys are taking up half the hallway standing there."

"Fine. Whatever," they sighed as they started walking in the opposite direction slumping over. "Coming up with something to wipe away all our problems is so hard."

"Yeah, I wish the answer would just pop up right in front of us." The two stopped for a couple of seconds. "Melvin!" the boys raced back down the hallway, “We need you to make us a memory-erasing machine can you do that? We swear it will fix everything."

"I Can, buuuut why should I? You guys like to take and mess with my things. You never did anything for me. If anything, you plunged this entire school into ruin, and I suspect you are also the ones to make our principal finally crack. I know an education might not sound too appealing to pea-brain idiots like you, but some of us actually find value in learning. "

"Which is EXACTLY why you should build one," said George winking and nudging Melvin on his shoulder.

"What are you implying?"

George couldn't believe his cluelessness, "School mess. You no like. We have a plan. You help fix it. How much do I need to spell it out for you Genius?"

"Hmm yes true...I doubt the school closing down will look good on my future resume. I'm also sick of everyone I pass including the teachers putting these immature labels on me," Melvin turned around a bunch of papers were taped to his backside that had said sayings like Four-eyed Freak, #1 Party Pooper, Snot boy, Carrot top and at least 20 other things he would find offensive. "So, you can say I'm in." The boys gladly reached out to shake each other's hands in a truce.

"Y'know It's not so bad having someone like you in our grade," Harold complimented, "especially when it comes to giving us convenient plot devices."

"I'll ignore that last part, but lucky for you I already built an upgrade to my forgetting device called the FORGETCHYAMACALLIT 2000. All you need to do is press this button and it'll erase any short-term memories aaanndd I've added a setting so it'll affect long term as well," said Melvin tossing a small ray towards them.

"Why didn't you just use this for the science fair?" asked Harold.

"Ehh it was kind of my back up. I think," he scratched his ear. "How strange, I can't really put my finger on why I built it. I really should put create remembering machine on my to-do list."

"Good to know," said Harold turning the reverse switch on and pointing the Ray directly at Melvin Sneedly.

"Wait! I didn't say you coul- durrrhuhur..." he protested as a yellow beam hit his brain.

"It's working I think, now just change the settings on hours. How long have these shenanigans been going?" George read Melvin's watch. "5 to 6 hours. Days I don't know I wasn't keeping track. Maybe around that time should be good enough." They finished their procedure on Melvin, and left him in a dazed drooling state.

As we informed you last time Mr. Krupp was still keeping himself locked up in his office. He had successfully taken down every sticky note, and placed them in a pile where his trash can used to be along with a couple of drawings that had marine animals and planets on the front. The room was now back to its former dull shade of blue-ish gray. He was absolutely alone with nothing, but the same three tunes from his tape player to accompany him. The loneliness left him to ponder his life in deep introspection.

All this stress for a book created by ten-year-olds. They were right. He should've thrown them away, but he didn't because as unprofessionally written and absurd as the premise was, he couldn't help find what these kids made to be somewhat entertaining. Perhaps it was in an ironic sense just to see how far off the wall their ideas could go. Maybe he found the caricatures of people he knew being inserted in ridiculous situations and costumes to be a guilty pleasure of his. An English teacher with shark teeth, and living hair that gives people wedgies. Who wouldn't get a kick out of that? Considering his rivalry with those kids he never quite understood why they never applied him in there the same way they had for most other school members.

Then there were their pranks. He had seen a few pranks in his day, many of which were pulled on him, however, no one came close to the degree of George and Harold's devotion and creativity. The hypnotism that had to be one of the cruelest tricks yet. He was almost upset at the fact he didn't think of it first. He had done his research over the past couple hours to at least understand how it happened. In order for someone to become hypnotized one had to be willing enough to go through with the orders. It's often used for entertainment and medicine alike a sort of awakening of a person's repressed desires, thoughts, and emotions. That had to be the most disturbing thing about it. How far off the deep end had he gone that even when his other half found out the truth of what he really was, he still rather cling onto a lie than face what the reality is. How was he to escape this surreal purgatory? Were the other staff members who have mostly the same routine, and social interactions capable of going through something like this? Or was it just him? When you really think about it becoming a superhero sounded like a fulfillment of a childhood dream. Yes, during the dream it was quite thrilling and dare he say it, FUN. It only felt like a nightmare once he woke up and felt the repercussions of what he had been doing. On the other hand...

Having superpowers wouldn't be half bad though.

"They said one of his powers was flying, right?" Out of sheer morbid curiosity, he leaned up against the window to test something out. He stepped up on the ledge and looked down. "Oh gosh, I forget this building was two stories," he said while hyperventilating. "Hehe, am I trying to get myself KILLED?"

The principal tried collecting his thoughts to calm himself down. "Okay, worst-case scenario. I don't have superpowers I fall and hurt my back or suffer from internal bleeding and other ailments that will make me wind up in a hospital. Other worst-case scenario…they weren't kidding." Mr. Krupp gulped and leaned the opposite which caused him to fall back only to be saved by his shirt snagging on the curtain hooks. A thought that the boys mentioned reoccurred to him. "He usually has one of these tacky curtains on his neck." He awkwardly tied a knot around his head.

If this really was all a mind game like they were suggesting, the key to unlocking that power had to be hidden behind the recesses of his psyche however humiliating it might be to get it out. "I am Captain Underpants, I am Captain Underpants, I am Captain Underpants, I am Captain Underpants," he announced over, and over to himself. "I am Captain Underpants. I am errgh couldn't you boys have given him a better name? Geez, what is it about bathroom humor that kids find it so funny?"

"Alright, Captain Kru- Underpants. It's now or never," he gave himself a head start and jumped. Tra-la- AHHHHHH," he screamed while plummeting to his demise. His untapped ability to fly had failed him as he headed straight for the ground. "Ooof!" What appeared to be grass from the two-story window was actually a patch of concrete spray-painted green.

The fall definitely wasn't painless. His face ached at the slightest movement, his arms and legs went limp, and his gut felt like it got rammed by semi-truck. When he finally had the will to get up and check the damage, he was suspended in disbelief. There weren't any scars, cuts, bruises, no fatal head injuries, missing intestines, broken bones, nothing. It was like something straight out of a comic book origin story, the ones he had grown up with.

"Mommy there's that man again. He jumped out of a window" said the small child holding his mother's hand.

"Sweetie, the child psychologist is this way," she tugged on her child's arm and took a glanced at the wreck that was Jerome Hortwitz Elementary, "Oh yeah, that's why mommy told you to go to a different school when all your friends left to go here.

Mr. Krupp shaking with anxiety spotted the couple and leaped over to them. "Hey, you guys over there. Did you see that?" The kid nodded and the mother tugged with more force on her son's arm.

"I fell landed face-first from 25 feet in the air and I can't find a single thing wrong with me. Haha, Do you?"

"I can find several things wrong. For starters-" the mother grabbed her kid by the shoulders and shoved him away from the deranged stranger. She picked up her phone "Hello, I like to schedule another appointment. No not for him, FOR ME!" To be fair Mr. Krupp would've benefitted to a degree by joining them at the moment however the principal was wrapped up in a superhero frenzy he couldn't escape from. He began to run loose on the streets of Piqua Ohio proclaiming the truth to everyone.


	8. We ran out of Flip-O-Ramas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah. I set this story to takes place around Captain Underpants and the Big Bad Battle of the Bionic Booger Boy Part 2 in the timeline in case you were wondering.

Back at Jerome Hortwitz George and Harold snuck out of their math class which didn't involve too much effort since half the class was taking a nap, and the other half entertained themselves by doodling on the sleeping victims. They scrambled upstairs with the FORGETCHYAMACALLIT 2000 in arms ready to strike down the intercepting duo as they slid into the room like Tom Cruise from "Risky Business"."We didn't want it to come to this, but as the old saying goes ignorance is bliss."

The room was empty not a single bald fat guy to brainwipe. "No way," Harold exclaimed, "he seemed so stubborn an hour ago and now he decides to disappear."

"Could there be a chance that he saw us coming?"

"George, I don't think Mr. Krupp is the one who ran off," Harold directed him to the window that had both pieces of curtain missing “, but how did anyone get pass the headphones secured on his head?"

"Perhaps he had a hip-hop single that triggers an all too snappy beat like the music produced by the late and great composers of today."  
Harold pulled up an eyebrow, "how would you know about that?" George whistled slyly and shrugged.  
A rumbling sounded like a mini stampede of cyborg water buffaloes running in a rainstorm with galoshes drowned out the awkward silence. "That can't be good," one commented. That assumption was indeed correct. Once they got their footing back they looked out the window to check outside. People were screaming fearing for their lives and their personal hygiene or not doing anything other than casually watching the horrific event unfold. Buildings were randomly combusting for no reason like there was a gas station in each of them. The streets were covered with an oozing seafoam colored liquid that was holding up blocks of traffic.

"What happened? The city looks as busted as our school!"

"Ya here news bout the NASA report kids?" asked a passing by a bespectacled senior citizen, "There was a crash in Ohio, and they say it might be extra-terrestrials that hitched a ride from one of our spacecrafts," he licked his finger and turned the next page of the newspaper. The two peered at the picture on the front cover.

"Those aren't aliens it's the robo-boogers Carl, Trixie, and Frankenbooger. We sent them all the way to space a few days ago, and they're back?"  
"Uggg, I'm so done with all these story contrivances. Can just one thing be in our favor today?" George begged to the sky while Harold simultaneously rummaged through his backpack.

"Sulu's not in my pack. Who is going to stop them this time?"

"Definitely not the police that's for sure, speaking of which…" They spied someone who seemed to be absolutely oblivious to the chaos around them as they were casually strolling along the sidewalk. It was police chief wearing a set of earmuffs that George and Harold recognized right away. 

"Excuse us, sir, where did you get those earphones and tape player?"

"I borrowed it from a friend," he lied George and Harold weren't buying it though as they stood judgmentally with their arms crossed until he spilled the beans."Okay, it belongs to a person we're holding in custody. You see, this guy was raving on and on how he was Captain Underpants earlier and shook us by our collar bones. What a loon, we sent that madman packing into the Piqua Valley home for the Reality-Challenged."  
"That's because it was the real Captain Underpants!"

"How am I supposed to know? He was wearing a shirt and pants. He did have the cape but isn't whole deal that he supports public nudity. If he's going to say that is his shtick, might as well stick with it." Before the two had time to facepalm themselves a flying bullet racing through the skies caught the eyes of the masses."What is that up in the sky, is it a bird? Is it a plane? I know it's an egg-"

"Hate to interrupt your insightful observation there, but it's the guy you just locked up, remember? I wonder why he got out? Perhaps he's looking for something or someone, but hey who knows you could always go and ask him personally."

The police officer swallowed hard on lump down the bottom of his throat. "I apologize for the inconvenience. You boys stay safe now," the chief gave the items back and ran off to retreat into the nearest doughnut shop across the street.

Captain Underpants floated above the site in his classic heroic stance,"Tra la-laa! I was in a comfortable room of sponges when I heard you three booger-filled fiends were looking for a rematch. These are real this time, right?" The panicked crowd nodded anxiously, "Good, just wanted to make sure of it."

"It's the man in his underwear. He's funny," one chuckled."Never mind that, let's get him!" Frankenbooger took a shot and went for the caped crusader's leg his kick, however, was powerful enough to knock his arm around and make it spin backward. He flew Trixie up into the air holding it by the eye socket and instantly descended back to the earth slamming it into the ground and shattering one of its glass eyelids in the process.

"Ayy I saw that move on the wrestling channel, who knew we had similar tastes," proclaimed a random bystander.

Carl was next, but being the obvious chicken of the group, he bolted at the sight of his other two comrades being knocked down. Those who got knocked down turned out to be very sore losers, and decided to get up while Captain Underpants was preparing for his victory dance."Enough messing around," Trixie and Frankenbooger slammed into each other with the unfortunate Waistband Warrior in between which in turn caused him to be absorbed the into their gelatinous crowd screamed terror-stricken as their savior was now presumably being eaten alive. Harold and George, however, knew a much worse possibility.

"Quick, what is the consistency of boogers?" cried George.

"Depends, it could range from crusty crumbles to a streaming river of goo. It is allergy season though...and yeah, we're going to die most likely."

Captain Underpants was drowning in the amorphous pile of mucus and it took all his strength to swim back up to the surface. He gasped for and spewed out the sticky green substance like a drinking fountain that had been clogged for a month. "Not on my watch!" He declared to the bionic beasts as confident as ever.

"It's a Friday miracle!" George and Harold joined hands in celebration of their hineys being spared.

He loosened himself from their grasp and flung himself to the ground. He relentlessly kicked their giant metallic claws while appeared to be wailing out in pain."Acck, Dagnabit!" After that showed no effect it only made him become more infuriated and he tried bashing them up with his fists. Trixie used its tiniest pincher to give him a wedgie wide enough to insert its goo into the opening and snap the underwear back."YeOWCH!"

"Yikes, he's getting slaughtered our there." the two chattered in suspense.

Major discomfort was setting in that area it was as if the mush was sentient and was wriggling on its own. That gave him an idea. He waddled over to the kids and pulled out the sludge from his briefs handing it to them.

Like any decent human being, George refused to put that thing in his hands."No way, that came out of your-"

"Trust me, Okay! I have a plan."

He stood on top of a car and yelled to get the screaming crowd's attention. "What are you random people standing around watching for? Grab these things and help me pull them apart incinerate them, or do you want boogers all over your stuff?" This was a rather unorthodox method in the realm that it had a sense of common logic to it. With that people shoveled stacks of mucous around town and pushed them to the burning buildings where the stark exposure to heat would cause the boogers to bubble up and evaporate. Including George and Harold who tossed their piece in the fire as swiftly as possible. Using vehicles to push the substances away however wasn't enough they had to go right to the source."We've got to separate them from their boogers or else their circuit centers will draw them back in again. I've got to contact the tissue company SNOTCo. to order a special delivery."

The procedure wasn't going as fast as he had hoped. "Ewww, ewww," a couple and blurted out. "Why do we have to do this? Doing the stuff this disgusting should be a superhero only job," a woman said trying not to ruin her nails.

The superhero was getting fed up with their complaints. "Stop your whining, c' mon it can't be that gross. You know our bodies make this stuff on a daily basis."

Learning facts about bodily secretion doesn't always make those substances seem less repulsive in fact sometimes it can increase the gross factor exponentially. "Eww, Ewww, Ewww EEEWWWW!" they squealed.

Captain Underpants gave them the eye roll of the century. "Pretend it's jello. Big lumpy piles of jello that you got for Thanksgiving because everyone ate everything as soon as you got there. That was the only thing you brought and even then, it just stayed in your fridge for a month since nobody wanted to eat it.

"The texture is more like pudding."

"Sure, it's pudding."

As a collected mass each took part and carried their own individual pile of snot. Trixie tried swatting them away, "What are these little ants doing?"  
"Beats me, Haha STOP That. It tickles." Giggled Frankenbooger now rolling on the ground. Gradually the slime monsters’ size depleted revealing more and more of their robotic endoskeletons. Just as he predicted.

"Ahh, you look naked, I can see your insides," Frankenbooger yelled to Trixie who tried covering up its indecency with its claws. Frakenbooger moved his massive hands to help in Trixie's endeavor alas he didn't know his own strength and his hands ended up crushing her instead.  
Frankenbooger looked like a walking stick figure with the extremely narrow infrastructure that he had. "Free robot parts to whoever catches him first. I suggest you use some form of weapons or artillery to take em apart," Captain Underpants instructed, and the riot ensued.

A band of teenagers who had just come out of a school orientation banded up and chucked mountains of ice-cream that made its circuits shudder and spark. One man was really craving a giant over-sized gauntlet to stuff in an equally large sock crashed his tow-truck into Frankenbooger's wrist, and unscrewed what keeping it attached," Yee-haw looks like I myself a keeper can't wait to add you to put in my world-famous giant sock puppet collection." The robotic demon was now twitching on the asphalt as the rest of the mob came to attack. Frankenbooger at its immensely weakened state begged them for mercy, but these people had no restraint when it came to receiving free stuff. It got so violent that Harold and George couldn't create a description out of words that would do it justice.

"Wow, this has to be the most graphic scenes our eyeballs have ever witnessed. Too bad the viewer will never get a chance to see it because someone left his notebook out of his backpack."

"It was STOLEN!" Harold objected.

Frankenbooger and Trixie were no more. The only problem was Carl. Unlike the other two, he wasn't so close to the ground, and the people had a hard time reaching up so high. Even the fireman's ladder couldn't get a hold of him. "Anyone got any ideas on how to get this one to fall to its knees?"

"Oooh, ooh," yelled the manager from the prank store down the corner, "we have huge ropes designed for all tripping purposes, and they are on sale for this week only."

"I suppose I could rent one," without the manager's word of permission he ran the rope across the street where an unsuspecting foot got caught in it causing the rest to collapse. Unfortunately, the slimeball on stilts picked up two unsuspecting kids that happened to be wearing a tie and a striped shirt, "Harold! George!" he called to them as Carl got back up.

"You want them Underpants man? You're going to have to catch me then Nyahaha," it said taking off at a remarkable speed. The hero wouldn't give up and so he followed the thing on a motorized vehicle that someone left lying around. He was heading down the end of the street when the tracks of the giant cleats stopped midway. He ended up parking right in front of none other than, you guessed it, Jerome Hortwitz Elementary.  
Carl scaled the building by digging the bottom of its long metallic feet into the brick foundation of the Underpants got out to climbed and chased after it "Haven't you read the school policy? No one dies on the campus without cleaning it up." The pathetic threat only amused Carl and gave him a raspberry that whistled against its giant buck teeth.

"What are you doing? Fly up here and bash this thing by its legs already." Apparently, the Waist-banded Warrior was persistent in the idea of climbing up the building to get the kids down to safety and scaled the wall.

Even though he was a superhero Captain Underpant's body wasn't built for this kind of intense physical activity. He only made it up a quarter there before he began panting and shaking sweaty palms lost its grip on the brick he was on and he plummeted toward the ground.

He tried another approach he used the stairs of the building to reach the second floor although he kept falling down to the first floor due to them being streamlined with oil. He used the school phone to make a phone call, "Head of the tissue delivery company. Hi, we've got a runny nose on the loose taking a couple of hostages. Can you hurry, up I'll pay for the extra shipping!"

All of a sudden, the Snot Co. licensed helicopter arrived carrying a large crate of their most infamous product. "Were awaiting a signal," said the pilot from inside.

Captain Underpants nodded "Let-A-Rip!" he commanded and the helicopter dropped the crate. A hurricane composed of millions of fluffy white tissues descended from the sky. They attached to Carl sticking to him like paper on the glue. With that, his layers of mucosa bubbled and drooped.  
"Oh no, Tissues my only weakness. What a twisted turn of fate. I never got to tell mother that I love her!" Just as boxers is to water all his boogery outsides soaked into the tissues until there was nothing left but a pair of robo-legs. The slime that crept down the top of the building caused the kids to slid off the roof. Captain Underpants dived out of the window hitting the same piece of concrete on he was on his backside this time. George and Harold landed safely bouncing off of The Waistband Warrior's pile of flesh on his middle abdomen which as expected was very soft and plush. They continued bouncing a few more rounds for the fun of it before he said anything, "Hello, the weight your holding on my gut is making kind of difficult to breathe right now. In other words, can you GET OFF OF ME!"

"You really saved our hineys back there it was a close one too. Was that all part of that plan you were saying? If so, I have to admit it was quite elaborate, yet a decently executed strategy."

"Oh really, you bubs are impressed by me," he said with a smug grin.

The two looked back at each other, "Bubs?" The hero popped his hands over his mouth as if he said a swear. Everything was clear now. They put their fingers together.


	9. And out of of clever chapter titles, but does it matter anymore?

!SNAP!

He automatically stuck one of his fists straight into the air, "Tra-la-laaa, you can't keep me trapped forever you monsters. I will defeat you and end your reign of slimy tyranny," he opened his eyes. "Where-where are they? I reassure you I had come from the sponge room. Then I was going hand to hand with those how did I wind up here?" the real Captain Underpants asked flying upside down.

The kids had a good picture of what was really going on, but they had bigger priorities to take care of first."Ya ya, you can tell us later, we need your help to clean up the battlefield. Roll up all the leftover boogers, tissues, and bolts and kick it all the way back to Uranus. Hurry, before it realizes tissues don't really affect it and Carl starts regenerating or duplicating."

Captain Underpants sorrowfully, yet reassuringly did as they said. He rolled up all the remains like a worn-out carpet and transfigured the bundle into a ball to dropkick. Sadly, when his foot contacted the ball it stuck to it so he grabbed Carl's leg and baseball it out of the earth's atmosphere instead. "Is that planet right there Uranus? If so, I might have overdone it on the swing."

"It's not a big deal, don't worry about it." They said while watching a quarter of the moon explode into pieces, "On second thought, you should LOOK OUT!" A moon chunk was hurdling through the atmosphere at speeds of light-years per hour too fast for our hero to turn around and see it coming. The now was a crater below where he had been floating. The smoke dissipated Captain Underpants was still in one piece but was totally knocked unconscious "He's dead!" Harold shrieked, "We need to perform CPR it's your time to shine George," he went on to push George on top of his stomach.

He pressed his ear against the Waistband warrior's belly as a faint sound rumbled within, "I hear something, it's either a heartbeat or a stomach ache. Either way, he's alive. Good thing, I didn't want to make out with him to bring him back to life."

"This could be the perfect opportunity to erase both their memories. First, let's get them out of the open. To the stairs." Up the stairs, they went again "Hnngh. How he manages to keep all this weight on him despite going up these stairs constantly, is a mystery to me."

"How do we get him to wake up?"

"Easy, by letting someone else get suspended," George said knocking the nearby door with his foot. A bucket that a curious student hung on a shelf over the door dumped a gallon of water that drenched him. "No-more," Mr. Krupp coughed. "No -more drippy boogers. They are all over me. Get it off!" He frantically wiped off the droplets with his hands. “You," he plugged his ears as a precaution, "I'm not falling for that again so don't even try." George and Harold shook their hands to portray a truce promising that they wouldn't attempt to snap in front of him, and he let his fingers up. "Pfft, what do you want?"

"Answers maybe, like why you were all of a sudden ready to take on a band of villains five times your size?"

"Simple, I already knew they were coming for me because it was on the paper, Duh. It was only a matter of time before they eventually seek revenge on us and that one suc-up that's responsible for it. I suspect someone's little game of kickball had something to do with it, and people thought I was going overboard when I put that no balls in space rule in."

"Umm, a ball had nothing to do with it."

"Oh...Well, when a kickball hurdling through space dooms the world, you know who is to blame."

"I just can't get over how you went out of your way to save us. I thought you hated our guts and would be ecstatic to see us be crushed into oblivion."

"I still do, I was trying to save myself and you two meddlers got I the way of that."

"That still doesn't explain why you tracked us down and jumped off a building when you could've let us fall," Harold retaliated, "especially since you are evidently more vulnerable to pain."

"It was all part of the act, okay? You saw what they were going to do if I didn't prove it. They wanted to lock me up, and I knew you would try to get rid of me so you can bring Mr. Happy Underwear Fun-time to play with. Then I would have to wait until I get dunked in mucus to bring myself back. It's the very definition of a lose-lose situation I had no other choice. Also, it became personal once they got their gunk all over me. I mean, do you know how long it takes to get these stains out?" Mr. Krupp lifted up his briefs to display the arrangement of green splotches that rivaled contemporary artists.

"Funny, Captain Underpants tried something very similar to that nature…Huh, you guys really are no better than each other."

"No, don't you dare compare that small brain-damaged portion of my mind to the rest of me. I'll be taking those thank you very much," Mr. Krupp said spitefully snatching the player and headset away from them, "now can you stop asking questions and just leave me alone…I have ehh important stuff to get back to..." he said solemnly turning his chair away and muttering to himself. "Of course, I don't delight in the death in the death of small children. Kids are incredibly annoying sure, but what kind of psychopath do these bubs take me for?"

Harold obediently made his way to the door however George halted him in his path, "Not so fast there my friend." He counted down something with his fingers "3,…2,…1...and BINGO."

?SNAP?

"Tra-la-la-laaa-lala-lala," said Captain Underpants singing, and snapping along to the beat of the music.

"Snap music. It's no Weird Al, but it does really spice up the hip-hop genre or at least that's what my parents told me when they gave me that tape for one of my birthdays."

"This is Underpantstastic! I could really use a tune like this for my theme song I've been working on." He then stuck his thumbs out and twisted his body side to side like he was doing some sort of ridiculous dance routine.

"Hold still Captain Underpants," George said pointing the memory-erasing ray directly at his face.

"Gahh," he yelped taking the earmuffs off in alarm at the sight of the weapon being held against him. "My own creators brought me back just to end me. I always imagined this is the way I would go out betrayed by my closest allies. I should've seen this coming when they tricked me in the courtyard."

"Can you quit being so dramatic were not going to kill you were just going to make you forget you were ever our principal," George could tell through his eyes that he was still uneasy. "Look, you don't want to keep this job it's boring. Wouldn't you rather not worry about that at all, and focus on fighting crime full-time with a bonus of extended vacation days?"

"Tempting offer, but I can't resign the people at this school depend on me to improve the standards from which they are being held back by," he uttered in a humble fashion.

"Again, with this logic. We get it, it's hard for you to understand this, but you overestimate yourself sometimes," he turned on the few functioning security cameras to demonstrate to him. “Here, is this what your perfect idea for running a school looks like?"

The Waist-banded Warrior starred at the countless screens on the monitor detailing the ways the school had fallen into ruin. The bathrooms were over flooding with water, food, and various wastes. The science room had a bunch of holes in the ground from acidic corrosion. The students themselves were either in the nurse's office without a nurse or pulling harmful pranks on each other. He sighed and maybe for the first time in his fabricated life he tried to give a sincere apology, "I really did get carried away, didn't I? In reality, I guess he is more help than me. Hehe, by the looks of it even saved the entire city by himself while I sat back here and destroyed the place for you. Can you boys ever forgive me?"

"Ahh, we don't exactly blame you Captain Underpants," Harold said nonchalantly waving his hand by his face. "If we found out we were figments of someone else's imagination forced to play along in someone else's story no matter how cool, it would probably mess us up for a good two weeks."

"And by himself is stretching it. We were the ones doing pretty much all the work he was mostly just bossing us around. I doubt he would've done anything if he didn't believe he could, and that came from you." Captain Underpants wasn't letting up about the ordeal something was still bothering him.

"It's only that, I lied to you guys too. There are people who actually do like him, and I that I wanted that all for myself. A good hero shouldn't act this selfishly," he sobbed wiping his nose in shame.

"Don't let that get to you. I'm sure you’re a lot easier to get along with, and something they see in him must be something they see in you too. Even Mr. Krupp likes you. See," George said pulling out all the comics, "You wouldn't know anything about yourself if he didn't already read and memorize that information for you. Check it out, he even ranked these issues in order of his favorites. Ha, what a nerd."

"Psst George," whispered Harold, "those numbers are what we used to label the order of the issues."

"Oh… I bet he still does it in his head."

"It doesn't really matter. Even if he tries to get rid of you even if we physically erase you. You will still always linger in our imaginations, and any kid who's inspired by you when they read your biography."

Harold took the sheet of paper next to the sticky notes and grabbed a pencil from his pack. "If it makes you happier, we could add more characters for you to interact with. There could be a cousin that secretly turns out to be evil or an uncle that lives on earth who's really a narwhal. We could insert a whole bunch of undiscovered relatives that inexplicably survived Underpantyland's explosion to come visit you."

"We can make him team up with other past characters we made-up. Dude, Captain Underpants teaming up with Dogman. That would make one sweet crossover. Or-Or maybe we could come up with a love interest…Nah, that's too cheesy and it wouldn't really sell well with the kids." He looked down by Harold's shoulder who was still coloring. "Were you drawing Mr. Krupp when I said the words love interest? No, not only does that not make any sense, but it's downright disturbing."

"It was a joke," Harold said scribbling it out.

"I know we could insert ourselves into the story to fight by your side. He can be sidekick Cheeseball Wafflefanny and I can be-"

"Don't bother," said the Waistband Warrior clinging to them at a particularly close distance. "Nothing you two can create will ever come close to replacing you. I just regret becoming such a burden on your normal lives, and that the noble hero that you guys fantasized about can't be in it."

Harold nodded no, “it’s and not like all your adventures were made-up most of those villains you listed you've battled in real life. You were brave enough to help us out and never stood back from them once. It's what we've been trying to tell you the entire time stuff like this does not happen 100% of the time."

"On the bright side though, a villain is bound to break out of jail in a week or so. We could call you up then."

"Thanks, sidekicks," he said graciously letting them loose. “If it's not too much of a hindrance to either of you shall I ask one last request. Can I use the faculty bathroom one last time before I have to go? A hero's duty is never done only postponed, and also don't want any talking toilets ganging up on us while I'm not around."

"You don't have to tell us twice, go ahead." About twenty minutes passed before he came back in the room which was concerning to the kids, but neither one wanted to pose the question of why that took so long.

"Alrighty, I'm ready for you to send me back from whence I came sooo turn that doohickey on, and Let a rip!" he said giving them the thumbs-up. As he said, they did. Within moments Captain Underpants drooling on the ground with his signature smile still on his face.

"You know what George I think I'm going to miss him," Harold stated with a sentimental gesture.

"What are you talking about? Why do we keep on acting like he's dead? Underpants is just retiring from being our principal." With that being said they walked the partially brain-dead principal back into the restroom. They were preparing to dunk his head into the sink when they saw a black figure sitting on top of a stack of toilet paper. "Is that a videotape, what's it doing here?"

"Let me see that. It says 2 K from C and it's got a little symbol shaped like a pair of underwear, if that's any hint for you," Harold put it aside and slammed Principal Krupp's head into unfiltered tap water.

"Bleck," he shook the water off his head and then spotted George and Harold who was aiming the FORGETCHYAMACALLIT 2000 at him. "Firearms really, you bubs know that's against the rules and illegal by federal law!"

"Yep, he's back now."

Mr. Krupp blinked his eyes a couple of times. "Did you," he grinned and excitedly clasped his fist together, "get rid of him with that?"

George tipped his hands up and down as his response, "A little bit of yes, and a little bit of not really. Quick, Harold get ready and FIRE!"

Harold hesitated "Not yet George. You have a delivery from a certain someone that has a few words to say to you." He placed the videotape in the VCR player. Mr. Krupp pressed the play button, and an image of a bald superhero was standing on top of a toilet cover came on screen.

"_Greetings, Principal Mr. Benny Krupp I never had the chance to thank you upfront for some things on my mind so I'm using one of your spy thingies. Ahem... here is my list," _he held a small roll of toilet paper with some writing on it_. "Thank you for archiving all my adventures, and for giving me a chance to have them I really appreciate it. Also, thank you for being the most gosh darn handsome man who has ever graced the face of this planet. I can see why they chose to model me after you. Thank you for always keeping my underpants dry and ready for action just how I like it. There was much more wanted to say but it appears I have run out of parchment," _he stated tossing the rest of the roll_. "I used to think you were a bad guy because you yelled at people and punished them. Although those are qualities that a villain would typically have, I now realize that those things can make the world a better place if you use them for the right reason." _he winked_. "Sorry, I punched you in the face earlier to make up for it I'm going to give you a big hug, but hehe as you imagine not sure how to-." He attempted to hug the camera, but he ended up slipping on the seat and had his leg knee-deep in the toilet." Whoops. That's not going to work so I just going to-." _Captain Underpants wrapped his arms around his shoulders and squeezed tightly, "_you should try hugging yourself it might make you feel better it's doing wonders for me. Also, as a side note from me to you, don't be so hard on these kids they are trying their best to look out from you. In a way, they are my heroes. It's been a nice one-sided chat, but I have to go now. Literally. I drank all the brown stuff from that machine. Captain Underpants signing out." _The static of the video overtook the screen as it cut out.

"Aww, that was surprisingly some pretty good advice coming from him anyway. I'll even ignore all the inaccuracies."

"I know, too bad we have to retcon all of this. Uhh…Are you okay?"

Mr. Krupp was pale in the face from shock. "That was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. Ahh, I've got a headache," he said rubbing his temples slowly rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "Can you do me a favor, and tell him-"

"I ain't your messenger boy. Go tell him yourself," an agitated George activated the FORGETCHYAMACALLIT 2000 zapping his principal's cranium. Krupp put up somewhat of resistance until his brain had no choice, but to give in. "Sorry, that just slipped out." They threw his clothes on him for the 50th time and left him to attend to the rest of his own business. Meanwhile, George and Harold took over the intercom to project the zappy waves to mind wipe the entire staff and student body.

And did they manage to brain wipe everybody in the school of this incident? 


	10. And to Make a Long Story Short...

And to make a long story short...

They did.

Everything was now back to normal they sold the cameras to pay for a better school cleaning staff, and Melvin happily used his TRASH TERMINATOR 2000 on any remaining VHS tapes and the extra garbage once they got all the kids out of the clearing. He also won 1st place at the science fair since everyone forgot that there was one so he won by default. Turns out he was also keeping Sulu on a hamster wheel to power his machine, but don't worry they'll get him later. As for Donny Shoemyer, no one really knows or cares what happened to that kid. Harold got his notebook back, and George made sure the rules were back in order for the most part although it couldn't hurt to lighten up on homework. Even Mr. Krupp was able to catch a good night sleep. That didn't help his overall crankiness however it did give him the energy to yell at other kids instead of starring at George and Harold all day long. The duo even managed to complete scrambling the words on the blackboard that they failed to do earlier. The sign "School Fine Arts Contest" was now the "School Fart Contest".

Mr. Krupp stomped over to witness their masterpiece, "Haha you spelled the word fart how original. How many times do we have to go through this? I told you bubs not to mess with school property. Detention for both of you!" and as usual he left in a huff.

"Welp, we got to have our comeuppance sometime," Harold joked.

"Are you kidding me? This story feels like more than enough. We didn't even have the paper to make a cool Flip-E-Rama of that last action scene."

"True, but I did manage to make one of Mr. Krupp punching himself over and over during the school-wide apocalypse." He flipped the notebook pages back and forth. The hilarious brutality was so beautiful it brought a tear to George's eye.

"You know what, I love you man." The buddies wrapped their arms around each other's shoulders and waddled off into the sunrise before shortly turning back the other way because they remembered they still had detention.

In his office, Mr. Krupp was pleased to find some posted notes with helpful reminders since he totally lost track of his agenda for the last several days. "1. Sign boring papers" he went to fill out several documents with his approved signature while doing so he replayed messages on his office phone to see if he missed anything important.

One came from the teacher's lounge. "_About today's teachers meeting, is there something you want to talk about Ben? I know, I know it's probably personal, a grown man your age doesn't usually have these kinds of problems till at least ten years down the line from now. I know a great store around the corner that my dad regularly goes to for it. I'm letting you know there are better options out there for you man, for cheap prices too! You should really look into it so you don't have to resort to borrowing boxers from our students._"

"What the heck was that about?"

He played another. this time it was from the gym locker room _"We should have Casual Fridays every week of the YEAR! WOOOHOOO, LIVING THE DREAM BABY!"_

A couple from several classrooms downstairs that had virtually the same message of, _"Hi, there is a 15ft booger monster outside the building should we be concerned about this?... I guess I'll take your silence as a no…Can I pick up my paycheck after school?"_

"Hmph, you people should pay for therapy instead of filling up my phone with this garbage. Do they honestly listen to themselves? I swear if I have to listen to another one of these stories."

The last one, however, didn't have a phone number that had a matching address on his school records list._ "Hello, is this Jerome Hortwitz Elementary I'd like to speak to Mr. Krupp, Hello?... I sewed up your pants myself you can pick them up later…Are you there?... Look, I know you're probably busy right now I just called because want to thank you. I've been thinking about that conversation we had the other day and I-I think I'm going to try to attend a public school again. I only made-up a bunch of excuses earlier because I knew you would believe all of them. They said I might have to take junior high again but who knows maybe if I do well my first year, I'll be able to catch up_. I even hooked up with some new peeps while I was signing up_. Turns out they really liked the piggybacks I gave them in my last year there. It's funny that's what they remember me by I ended up treating them to ice cream. Sorry got off-topic, but what I'm trying to say is that I think I can handle myself alright. Hey, if you can fight monsters with only skin on ya then what's a couple of tests gonna do to me? Heh, so I'll catch you later...Uncle Benny."_

"Kipper," Krupp said silently to himself for a while, a warm smile came upon his face. He picked the phone back up and dialed a number. "I'm glad to hear it."

In the end, all was well and everything went back to normal…except for one thing. As the boys came in to serve their time the saw that Miss Edith Anthrope had come back from her break, and she frolicked into her office. Mr. Krupp was waiting by her desk." I can see that your back from your unwarranted vacation I let you know woman you have this stack of papers you need to fill out for me in return. It better be done by next tomorrow or else!"

"Oh, Captain Underpants you don't have to put up that charade for me," she pulled the toupee off of the principal's head.

"Hey! Give that back."

"Now come on, why don't we get right on down to business and dance," Miss Anthrope declared stripping away her outfit.

"Gahh!" Mr. Krupp screeched covering his face. "Put your clothes back on, woman. This is not appropriate behavior for a school environment."

"Guess I'll have to see you after school is out then," she giggled. While imitating a knock-off version of the samba, she snapped her fingers unaware of the potential consequences.

!SNAP!

A light-hearted smile set upon Mr. Krupp's face.

"Uh-oh!" George and Harold explained.

Captain Underpants was ready to let out his booming catchphrase to her and the world, "Tra-la-mmnphblggrhg," but then soggy wet lips landed smack dab onto the unsuspecting hero's face.

"Here we...Go ...again?...Ewwwww."

The End?


End file.
